I Want To Write My Random Thoughts And Feelings

So... I believe everyone's right and I'm just making myself miserable holding on.
Yet I still want to hold on.
I know I'd be able to move on probably if I'd just let go, yet letting go seems so hard.
And somehow being miserable doesn't seem so bad.
I get excited about new things, so I'm not entirely holding on... yet it seems when these things backfire it makes me realize more and more why I just want him.
Everything leads back to him. Why?