made it to the gym today

I'm lucky enough to have an apartment complex with a gym in the clubhouse, and last semester I used it pretty liberally. This semester though, I just find it so hard even though it's only a short walk away (albeit through icy hell) and this semester is a lot easier than the last one. But it's like five minutes in, I'm just so exhausted. I wanna be done. Last two runs, I only went twenty minutes because I just couldn't take it anymore. This time, I made thirty powered solely by white-hot rage against shit that doesn't matter anymore. And when I was done, I felt exhausted.

Three and a half miles. THIRTY MINUTES. I should not have to fight this hard to eek out three and a half miles of running. My aching wasn't worse than normal, I don't think, it's been my mind. I was counting down the seconds. I'm losing it. Really had to force myself.