I Have Anxiety

Does anyone else find that their family laugh at or belittle them because of their anxiety?

It's been an ongoing thing that I'm "silly" and "I'm so overdramatic" and anything I say is ridiculous when it comes to how I feel. My feelings are never valid because everyone has always been too busy saying "no you're wrong that's not how it is". It's got to a point now where I can't tell if what I'm saying or thinking is bad or not and I have to check with my husband a lot.

I just spoke to my sister about it, after my mother said no wonder my in-laws didn't want to stay at the house because of the state it was last time. I was going through a very difficult time and the house was a mess, but her saying loudly so everyone including my aunt could hear "and they were sitting in your room amongst underwear in filth" when she knows I have/had PTSD/PPA from my daughter's birth and really struggled with her diagnosis, let alone not knowing they were going to go up to our room 🙁. My sister has gone off on me, saying that's wrong, I didn't hear right and now she's ignoring me. I feel like I want to hurt myself, I'm going to try very hard not to but it's just too much. I'm so embarrassed.

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Reverend · M

Yes anxiety sucks. I was misunderstood for years until it drove me to the point where those peoples opinions didn't matter to me anymore. Once they realized I had shut them out, their entire perspective on the situation changed.

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Reverend · M

@Starsandfire I understand. I have nurses in my family and they ALL seemed like they knew exactly what I was goong through because they had patients like me. It took a long time for them to realize that there is a difference between reading/knowing about anxiety and actually experiencing it.

Starsandfire · 31-35, F

@Reverend yep, you're right! Everyone experiences it differently.

DaddyThomas · 46-50, M

@Reverend that’s right, those people opinions doesn’t matter.
@auntywhispers
Don’t listen to them , don’t give them value. Live your life to way you want.

trackman11 · 61-69, M

It’s not unusual to make light of what we don’t understand. For them it makes it seem less threatening. Of course for you it’s hurtful and I’m sorry. Familiarity often dulls our sensitivities. I hope you can find a way to educate them.

Starsandfire · 31-35, F

@trackman11 thank you, that's a good perspective. I don't think I'll ever be able to have them understand sadly 🙁

trackman11 · 61-69, M

@Starsandfire I suggest and know it’s hard, but give them some grace. Instead of seeing them as belittling you. Recognize that they are wrong and flawed and choose to forgive them. It might help you feel less vulnerable.

Starsandfire · 31-35, F

@trackman11 thank you, I will try. I'll maybe also be a bit less emotionally available for them when they come to me with issues. See how they like it.

SW-User

Sounds like nothing you do is right to them. Get rid of them and you may improve.

Starsandfire · 31-35, F

@SW-User can't get rid of my family, I'm just kind of glad one set lives so far away!

SW-User

You can put up boundaries of what’s allowed and stick to them. My family was really abusive and negative and toxic. They still are. I don’t allow it. I’m sorry for you though.@Starsandfire

Rhodesianman · 56-60, M

Hey chin up anxiety is hell and no joke I know my daughter and I both suffer with it .If you wanna chat I am here .

Justiceforall · M

Does your aunt know you are having problems, if she does I wouldn't listen to there insults and tell them that between you and the other person not them, I think you need to set your foot down at get ugly with them.

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Justiceforall · M

@Starsandfire you shouldnt be you had your plate full of problems and they should understand that. I think I would have been asking why are you in my room, shouldn't no one been in there without your permission, maybe it's just me but you don't just do that.

Starsandfire · 31-35, F

@Justiceforall I know! The baby was in there for a lot of our reception but I never asked my in laws to go up there. Mum was supposed to be up there with her but came downstairs 🤷 so yeah. I'm not happy about it but my opinion is silly apparently.

Justiceforall · M

@Starsandfire it's only silly if you let it be, your a grown woman not a toddler to be scolded for doing something you shouldnt. It's hard to stand up for yourself after yrs being a foot mat. But you can do it, you don't want your child growing up thinking she should let people walk over her. Like I said you may have to put your foot down and get ugly with them where they no your serous

xixgun · M

As an alternative- I don't speak to most of my family at all

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