I Had A Fight With My Boyfriend

And it seems like a big one

I just flew home for the weekend and the boyfriend picked me up from the airport like the sweetie that he is. We got to my parent's house a few hours ago and were hanging out with m&d in the kitchen just chilling and talking.

Some background ... About three weeks ago I got invited to apply to something pretty prestigious. I'm currently in the Navy and this is not something that everyone does. I don't want to go into details, but it's kinda a big deal. I Skyped with mom about it and she was 100% completely against it. It would change the direction of the job I would have within the Navy and she was not in favor. Based on her reaction, I didn't tell the boyfriend about it at all. But I did tell my commanders that I was all in.

Anyway, fast forward back to tonight standing around the kitchen counter and my mom brings it up and looks at the boyfriend and says she hopes he can talk some sense into me. He played it cool at first but the look on his face made it pretty clear that this was the first he was hearing of it and he wasn't happy about that. Mom apologized to me quickly and said it looked like we needed to talk. Ya think? 🙄

Anyway, he and I walked out front and stood leaning on his truck for an hour "talking." Lot's of not nice things were said, some loudly. Finally he left saying he needed to go cool down before he said anything he didn't mean (as if everything he said up to that point he meant).

So I know I screwed up. Relationships are built on openness and trust. But nothing in this decision changes my total commitment time to the Navy (although it is a decision that would help advancement if I did decide to stay in longer). Ugh, anyway, instead of being out on a date, I'm sitting at the desk in my old room trying to figure out if he's going to call me.

About me: https://similarworlds.com/sarabee1995/info

76starships · 46-50, M

I’m glad you went for it. If he really knows what you are about, he’ll understand.

sarabee1995 · 26-30, F

@76starships Thanks. It's a long process so we won't know for a while if I get it, but thanks.

And, it seems from the conversations that I've had with him today that he is primarily concerned with my extending. This morning he actually said he needs to know if I plan on extending. First, I'm no where close to making that decision -- it is years away. Second, I'm not going to give in to an ultimatum to make that decision early. He asked the question ten different ways and each time I told him that I have not changed my mind on that (meaning, it is a decision I will make when the time comes and not before).

76starships · 46-50, M

Yeah, you’ve only just begun your career. This isn’t someone you met yesterday, he’s known you a long time. I’m surprised at the demands. Surely he knows that you don’t make decisions lightly nor do you respond well to pressure like this. @sarabee1995