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I Had A Fight With My Boyfriend

And it seems like a big one

I just flew home for the weekend and the boyfriend picked me up from the airport like the sweetie that he is. We got to my parent's house a few hours ago and were hanging out with m&d in the kitchen just chilling and talking.

Some background ... About three weeks ago I got invited to apply to something pretty prestigious. I'm currently in the Navy and this is not something that everyone does. I don't want to go into details, but it's kinda a big deal. I Skyped with mom about it and she was 100% completely against it. It would change the direction of the job I would have within the Navy and she was not in favor. Based on her reaction, I didn't tell the boyfriend about it at all. But I did tell my commanders that I was all in.

Anyway, fast forward back to tonight standing around the kitchen counter and my mom brings it up and looks at the boyfriend and says she hopes he can talk some sense into me. He played it cool at first but the look on his face made it pretty clear that this was the first he was hearing of it and he wasn't happy about that. Mom apologized to me quickly and said it looked like we needed to talk. Ya think? 🙄

Anyway, he and I walked out front and stood leaning on his truck for an hour "talking." Lot's of not nice things were said, some loudly. Finally he left saying he needed to go cool down before he said anything he didn't mean (as if everything he said up to that point he meant).

So I know I screwed up. Relationships are built on openness and trust. But nothing in this decision changes my total commitment time to the Navy (although it is a decision that would help advancement if I did decide to stay in longer). Ugh, anyway, instead of being out on a date, I'm sitting at the desk in my old room trying to figure out if he's going to call me.

About me: https://similarworlds.com/sarabee1995/info

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Carver · 31-35, F

Damn, your mom really put you on the spot there. I’d be fucking pissed with her if I were you. Personally, I don’t think you screwed up anything. Maybe it would have been nice to let him know before but your bf doesn’t really need to know that. It’s not like you two are in any long-term commitment with each other, as you’ve told me yourself. It sounds like you need to give him a cold serving of reality about your relationship again l. Unless you two are now in it for the long run with your romantic partnership then you’re not the one who has screwed up, he is by having such expectations from you. Your mom too, I hope you don’t let her get away with that... She was way out of line by telling by him your business and putting you in that position.

I’m sorry this happened with you. As someone who still recently recovered from an ongoing feud in my relationship, I know how badly it sucks. Hope thing can turn out better for you soon.

sarabee1995 · 26-30, F

@Carver Well, as you know already, he is and has been much further along emotionally in the "long-term commitment" thing than I have. This has been the major issue between us since that summer we dated back when I was 20. He's five years older and has been ready "for more" from day one and I haven't been.

Now, as of this morning when we spoke, he wants to know if I'm going to extend passed my four years. I'm no where near making that decision.

As for mom, I'm not too mad at her. The way I left things with her, it was reasonable for her to assume I had told him already. (She and I spoke about how he would react and I implied he was next on my list.)