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I Am a Widow

Its been 3 years and i still struggle to remove my ring. I smell the bottle of your cologne and wear your tee-shirts to bed. Today a friend commented on how much bubba looks like you. And he truly does. He acts just like you too. I love you with every breath and think of you every night. Thoughts of letting go is turning out to be impossible. It will be easier over time they tell me. You'll see the pain will ease.
Mona73 · 46-50, F
If your journey thru widowhood is anything like mine, the rest of your life will be a roller coaster. My husband died 18 years ago this month. I was 18 when we met. I lived 18 years before him and now 18 years after him, yet somehow the 7 years we were together is the majority of my life. I am as in love with him today as I was the day he died. Of course, there have been happy times since his passing. Life is not all doom and gloom and constant heart wrenching sadness, but it... It's hard to explain.... Have you ever had just the slightest hint of a headache, no real pain, just a mild hint of discomfort and even tho it doesn't actually HURT, you know it can develop into a full blown, throbbing migraine that renders you incapacitated, at any given moment? For me, life as a widow is much like that, only instead of the pain being in my head, it's in my heart. (shrug and sigh) Several (5 or 6) years after my husband, Doug, died I moved to England. I was dating a great guy who took me to on a lovely weekend getaway to Stonehenge. I was really enjoying myself when I suddenly recalled a cd Doug had given me that had a picture of Stonehenge on the cover. Such a small, inconsequential thing, but it was like being punched in the stomach. There have been many such incidents; some tiny little something will pop up and rip the wound right open and I feel the full depth of the massive abyss within me that is his absence. All these years later and there are times when I go days without really thinking about him much at all, but then there are periods where I can't stop thinking about him and missing him desperately.
My advice.. (and the best thing about advice is that you don't have to take it..lol) is if you're struggling to remove your ring, maybe it's not time to take it off just yet. If you feel like it is time, but it's just too painful to be without it, perhaps you could try moving it from your finger to a chain around your neck.
Remember, there are no rules or timelines when it comes to grief and the loss you've suffered is greater than many people will realize. Do things when and how they feel right to you.
I wish you as much peace and comfort as possible.
Leeand29 · 61-69, F
It has been 3.5yrs for me it doesn't get easier we learn to live with the emptiness and the hole in our hearts. We move forward to a new normal. I wanted to be able to have our rings with me forever so I had the made into a cross with the diamonds centred in it.
I call this the loneliest road you will trail good luck in your journey. Hear to listen if you need someone.
BobbyPres · 51-55, M
I loss my wife of 10 years to cancer. This was over 15 years ago and I still get tears and upset.
Angelly · F
@ BobbyPres. I'm so sorry for your loss 😢
TheProphet · M
It will get easier. I lost my wife of 32 years 7 years ago.
Untimelyend · 31-35, F
Thank you all. You words are kind. Im trying to hold my life together but its truly hard. Today is one of those days i just don't want to move. If it wasn't for bubba i probably wouldn't. He's my blessing, my silver lining.
AxelGS · 51-55, M
Sounds like pretty tough going. Time will eventually ease your suffering and leave the good memories intact. I wish you the best.
Inlovewiththesun · 36-40, F
Sorry for you loss and pain. I wish you two all the best
DKMoon · M
Words fail me at times like this. I'm just sorry...
Leeand29 · 61-69, F
The pain eases but is always there, we learn to live with the void and emptiness. I had our rings made into a cross that I wear everyday. Someday I will pass my cross unto our youngest grandson.
Untimelyend · 31-35, F
Thank you. Its not one i would choose for my worst enemy
bethany444 · 56-60, F
That's a tough road. Love and peace to you and Bubba!
Enchanted · 56-60, F
Sorry :( that's very difficult to overcome ((hugs))
Blonde · 31-35, F
Sorry for your loss.

 
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