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I Don't See the Point

I can’t eat without thinking how fat I’ll be after the next bite. I can’t speak without thinking I’ll say the wrong thing. I can’t love without thinking they’re gonna leave. I can’t stop thinking I’m not good enough.

They say “love cures all”, “he’ll make you feel like a better person”, “he’ll help you remember your worth”. They say “you’re fine it’ll pass”, “things will be better tomorrow”, “everything is ok”

Tell me why no matter who I’m with I still feel huge. Tell me why no matter who I’m talking to i stutter or don’t make sense. Tell me why no matter who I choose to love I can’t keep them.

It’s my fears that drive people off. I can’t tell anyone what’s wrong because when they find out how often I feel like trash they want to leave. They think I’m too much.

I watch how often I eat. I limit how often I speak. I limit myself to the ones I love.

I am impossible. There is no purpose for me. Just empty space.
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Nobody else can make us happier about ourselves. We will only think they are blind idiots or somehow setting us up as a joke.

You can't find validation anywhere except in yourself. If you want that, start the hard work of learning how to do it. It will be more than worth it.