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I Think Failed Relationships Change People

I've been single a long time and I've learned a lot about myself during this time. I have also learned a lot from this young man that I've very much developed feelings for in the last three years.
I would like to be in a real relationship with him, but he doesn't have his life together. I am more escaping from the idea of a relationship based on his investments in me.
He claims he loves me and is planning a life with me "only if You"... (only if I, me)... he is not my kind of long term man. I know. Hence why I am sharing.

His words don't mean a thing. His actions are none. Therefore I am not for him. In this case, My love is conditional too. When I find a man to love me unconditionally, the way I seek it, I will change my tune.

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SW-User

They do sometimes for the better some times for the worse.

If he isnt investing in you then I'm glad to see you're realising that you should hold yourself in higher regard even if he does not.

I would suggest knocking this on the head and look for the one who will love you unconditionaly :)

IntoMeYouSee

I'm doing it his exactly:>
Life is too short to stay stagnant.

SW-User

@NoraOnora: good for you :) 🤗

Raffie · 61-69, F

"Only if you" those three dreaded words....signals conditional....life brought him to you to learn something about yourself and life will provide the exit door. Seek a love that is unconditional and find peace in your decision.

Serenitree · F

Very insightful. It's good to know this about yourself and him. It will save a lot of heartache in the long run.

Apr. 12/17
8:31 pm
EDT

This message was deleted by its author.

IntoMeYouSee

Thank you for sharing :> I know it's nice to be able to move along and find your power as a man. I think he will and I will enjoy his success.
I know His heart is in a good place sentimentally, but if he can't provide then I am not able to survive.
It's not me to do all the work, he's gotta be able to match me

This message was deleted by its author.

IntoMeYouSee

@CopperCicada: you're 100% correct. I fully respect a man who says that they are not completely ready for a commitment with ANY woman. Especially when they don't have life in order. It makes total sense.
How can a person (man or woman) be able to be a service in a relationship if they can't serve themselves.

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