I Think Failed Relationships Change People
I believe I have been changed by failed relationships. I think I have learned a lot more empathy and ability to interpret the thoughts and desires of others, through these unfortunate life-events.
I was very broken by my last breakup. It has been over 4 years and I still have not dated anyone since. She had none of my issues and has a baby with her now-husband that is probably like 3 years old now - so she didn't step in the same puddle I did, apparently.
I thought I had lost the love of my life - and in many ways I had. But, in retrospect, I lost more of what I assumed she COULD BE more than who she was in reality.
Now, I do not mean to rag on her. She is a good person and we were just in very different stages of life. I also was 10 years older and that's a huge difference. I was under the impression that since she had a baby, she was vastly more mature than I ever thought of being at her age. That likely still was true, but it still didn't mean I understood her at all.
I did love what I knew about her. The way we interacted and got along was amazing and I hope to find that level of companionship in my next girlfriend (if she ever exists...). But, I assumed since everything I saw and experienced was perfect, that so was everything else.
That's not exactly the best way to make a decision... "Well this car looks perfect from the driver's seat - I'm sure there isn't any damage anywhere, since I can't see any from here - I'll buy this car, sir!"
I also misinterpreted a few things... I feel insanely loyal to my family; and so when she bent to help me - in my view, against her family's (in their defense they were honestly confused) wishes - it meant THE WORLD to me.
Why? Because had I done a similar thing, if the situations were reversed - it would have been the biggest deal to me - and a huge example of my dedication and love for my girlfriend. But - that's because of how I FEEL about my family, and how my family has treated me over the years. She had a very different outlook and so the gesture did not mean nearly as much, coming from her viewpoint.
But, I have learned a lot. I feel like I have lost an incredible amount of time to depression and addiction; but I guess it's a hell of a lot better than dying. I have had so many friends die it's silly - and so many of them were super worthy people.
We need to change the way opportunities are shared in this country. We are losing a lot of our good people, just because they aren't getting given the proper direction.
I was very broken by my last breakup. It has been over 4 years and I still have not dated anyone since. She had none of my issues and has a baby with her now-husband that is probably like 3 years old now - so she didn't step in the same puddle I did, apparently.
I thought I had lost the love of my life - and in many ways I had. But, in retrospect, I lost more of what I assumed she COULD BE more than who she was in reality.
Now, I do not mean to rag on her. She is a good person and we were just in very different stages of life. I also was 10 years older and that's a huge difference. I was under the impression that since she had a baby, she was vastly more mature than I ever thought of being at her age. That likely still was true, but it still didn't mean I understood her at all.
I did love what I knew about her. The way we interacted and got along was amazing and I hope to find that level of companionship in my next girlfriend (if she ever exists...). But, I assumed since everything I saw and experienced was perfect, that so was everything else.
That's not exactly the best way to make a decision... "Well this car looks perfect from the driver's seat - I'm sure there isn't any damage anywhere, since I can't see any from here - I'll buy this car, sir!"
I also misinterpreted a few things... I feel insanely loyal to my family; and so when she bent to help me - in my view, against her family's (in their defense they were honestly confused) wishes - it meant THE WORLD to me.
Why? Because had I done a similar thing, if the situations were reversed - it would have been the biggest deal to me - and a huge example of my dedication and love for my girlfriend. But - that's because of how I FEEL about my family, and how my family has treated me over the years. She had a very different outlook and so the gesture did not mean nearly as much, coming from her viewpoint.
But, I have learned a lot. I feel like I have lost an incredible amount of time to depression and addiction; but I guess it's a hell of a lot better than dying. I have had so many friends die it's silly - and so many of them were super worthy people.
We need to change the way opportunities are shared in this country. We are losing a lot of our good people, just because they aren't getting given the proper direction.
