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I Think Failed Relationships Change People

And this shit continues....not the usual good mornings or good nights...which I feel got to be habits rather than genuine. After having stated I don't like to have a "convo" texting, she still doesn't call or will "try" to start a text convo, which I just give a couple words to, to acknowledge I read it, and then I get, "I won't bother you, have a good night". That felt like "gaslighting" or "baiting" me to say more, which I did not. I've changed up my habits and I don't show "online" regularly, however, now I notice she is popping online from work, long enough to see if I've been "online". Geeeez. Her behavior definitely shows that "something" is going on with her, but she's not communicating what it is and continues to leave me to wondering WTF.
I'm sure some of you might think I should ask her what is up and be the one to address her distancing behaviors. She's making shit very awkward to do so, as that would mean I got to text a conversation, which is exactly what I said I don't want to do, or call her, but I really don't want to have that conversation over the phone. And then, to me, it feels like she's pushing me to BE the one to do just that, when it's not me who started this crap. I want her to own her feelings, own her truth and be adult enough to think for herself and speak for herself, rather than to "prompt" her. Some of you may get that, while others may not.
Again, I write a lot of my stuff here as a means to vent and when I look at the history of those vents, it helps me to clarify a pattern in her behavior.

I certainly welcome others input, but just so I'm clear, I'm not looking for "advice". I'm just "waiting" to see how long she is going to take to address whatever is apparently bothering her. It's not like there was some big argument or anything either.

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Fernie · F

All I can think of while reading this is that you have SO many rules she has to follow and weak communication skills. You won't text, you won't talk on the phone, you won't be a mature adult and have a healthy conversation with her to find out what the story is...very controlling behavior...plus, you refuse to spell out the word "conversation"...I read this as YOUR issue...not hers.

Wolfdancer · 56-60, F

@Fernie If you read my other stories on this, I HAVE BEEN very forward in telling her many times, I do not like having to TEXT a conversation and I would much rather talk to her on the phone, but she is the one who does not call me. I would gladly accept a phone call. I do not have rules, but rather boundaries. I have always been very forward with her about everything and she is the one withholding, not me. I should not have to KEEP spelling it out, when I already have.

Wolfdancer · 56-60, F

Furthermore, texting leads to misunderstandings, or I don't know if she's read it, because she's preoccupied with something else to read all of it. Or ya don't know what their tone of voice is or what they really mean about something. I have said many many times, texting leads to misunderstandings and not really knowing if a person is paying attention.
And two weeks ago, just this happened that was a general texting convo, had nothing to do with us, and she did misunderstand it and didn't read all of it to know what was going on. Texting is for short messages, like ya busy? Ya want to go to the store? We have plans? I'm here...etc Not long winded conversations. I am the least controlling person EVER! She has the freedom to do as she pleases.

Wolfdancer · 56-60, F

@Fernie I don't see Rules in my posts. Where do you see Rules???? I have talked with her about this when we have been in eachother's company. But see, even these posts can be misunderstood. That's okay though. I DO know what is what. People spend way too much time on their damn phones these days than actually communicating face to face or voice to voice. There is a huge huge difference and she is a phone texting person while I am not and she knows that. Like I said it is not the first or second time I have brought this to her attention.

Fernie · F

You won't text, you won't talk on the phone, you won't be a mature adult and have a healthy conversation with her to find out what the story is.....rules. You have serious issues. Look within. You're typing like a mad woman about something easily figured out. Such drama

Wolfdancer · 56-60, F

I am not ignoring her texts. I just am not going to have a long winded conversation via text. What is so hard to understand about that? Who said I won't talk with her on the phone? I didn't and if she would call instead of fucking text I would TALK with her! I have told her that!!!! And there is much much more to it than what is here. Mad woman ? Ya making me laugh. But I'm not looking for validation here or advice, as I stated before.
I'm a very forward person, I do & have spoken my mind & I can think for myself. I don't feel I should have to keep "prompting" someone to talk with me. If they can't think for themselves, there is a problem. I'm also a very consistent person, and very observant of others behaviors. Probably too consistent to a fault. I am the communicator and she is the one who doesn't like to communicate what she needs or wants. She's the avoider when it comes to personal things. She hates confrontation so she avoids it like now, her behavior is showing me that something else is going on that she isn't speaking of. Again, have a voice & speak your mind.