Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

I Think Failed Relationships Change People

And this shit continues....not the usual good mornings or good nights...which I feel got to be habits rather than genuine. After having stated I don't like to have a "convo" texting, she still doesn't call or will "try" to start a text convo, which I just give a couple words to, to acknowledge I read it, and then I get, "I won't bother you, have a good night". That felt like "gaslighting" or "baiting" me to say more, which I did not. I've changed up my habits and I don't show "online" regularly, however, now I notice she is popping online from work, long enough to see if I've been "online". Geeeez. Her behavior definitely shows that "something" is going on with her, but she's not communicating what it is and continues to leave me to wondering WTF.
I'm sure some of you might think I should ask her what is up and be the one to address her distancing behaviors. She's making shit very awkward to do so, as that would mean I got to text a conversation, which is exactly what I said I don't want to do, or call her, but I really don't want to have that conversation over the phone. And then, to me, it feels like she's pushing me to BE the one to do just that, when it's not me who started this crap. I want her to own her feelings, own her truth and be adult enough to think for herself and speak for herself, rather than to "prompt" her. Some of you may get that, while others may not.
Again, I write a lot of my stuff here as a means to vent and when I look at the history of those vents, it helps me to clarify a pattern in her behavior.

I certainly welcome others input, but just so I'm clear, I'm not looking for "advice". I'm just "waiting" to see how long she is going to take to address whatever is apparently bothering her. It's not like there was some big argument or anything either.

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

Wolfdancer · 56-60, F

Ahhhh, so I have my face to face opportunity to talk with her and see what's been going on with her come Monday. She messaged me saying she was going to the Reservation (where we buy our cigarettes) and did I need to go? I replied, I couldn't go, because my funds are low until next week (Monday), but thanks for asking. Her Normal behavior or response would have been, I can cover you until next week. But that isn't what I got. she replied with okay no problem. The end. It's been the norm for either of us to get the other cigs, if one of us happens to be out that way. In fact 2 weeks ago I didn't even ask if she needed cigs. I just bought them for her, as I knew our weather was suppose to get real nasty with snow advisory warnings.
A couple hours later she messages me again and says she can wait until Monday, as she has the day off, if I wanted to go. I said that would be great, then we can spend some time together, unless you have other things you need to do. Her response was okay, I'll wait until Monday then. Didn't specify if she wanted to spend time with me or not & normally I wouldn't get such a dry response. Normally on her days off is when we do spend time together. She's had a weekend off, and I never even heard from her. Then she had the Thursday after Thanksgiving off, and again, I didn't hear from her. This is the kinds of things I am talking about that are out of character for her. I do not chase people. I've learned not to do that. If a person wants to spend time or talk with you they will. After me having said, I would rather talk on the phone for a conversation than text and then she never calls me. So to me that tells me she's not interested in talking to me, just small meaningless texts. I'm not into that.

Fernie · F

All I can think of while reading this is that you have SO many rules she has to follow and weak communication skills. You won't text, you won't talk on the phone, you won't be a mature adult and have a healthy conversation with her to find out what the story is...very controlling behavior...plus, you refuse to spell out the word "conversation"...I read this as YOUR issue...not hers.

View 2 more replies »

Wolfdancer · 56-60, F

@Fernie I don't see Rules in my posts. Where do you see Rules???? I have talked with her about this when we have been in eachother's company. But see, even these posts can be misunderstood. That's okay though. I DO know what is what. People spend way too much time on their damn phones these days than actually communicating face to face or voice to voice. There is a huge huge difference and she is a phone texting person while I am not and she knows that. Like I said it is not the first or second time I have brought this to her attention.

Fernie · F

You won't text, you won't talk on the phone, you won't be a mature adult and have a healthy conversation with her to find out what the story is.....rules. You have serious issues. Look within. You're typing like a mad woman about something easily figured out. Such drama

Wolfdancer · 56-60, F

I am not ignoring her texts. I just am not going to have a long winded conversation via text. What is so hard to understand about that? Who said I won't talk with her on the phone? I didn't and if she would call instead of fucking text I would TALK with her! I have told her that!!!! And there is much much more to it than what is here. Mad woman ? Ya making me laugh. But I'm not looking for validation here or advice, as I stated before.
I'm a very forward person, I do & have spoken my mind & I can think for myself. I don't feel I should have to keep "prompting" someone to talk with me. If they can't think for themselves, there is a problem. I'm also a very consistent person, and very observant of others behaviors. Probably too consistent to a fault. I am the communicator and she is the one who doesn't like to communicate what she needs or wants. She's the avoider when it comes to personal things. She hates confrontation so she avoids it like now, her behavior is showing me that something else is going on that she isn't speaking of. Again, have a voice & speak your mind.

Add a comment...