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DrWatson · 70-79, M
As for his sudden anger and listing of your faults, I might have some insight about that, based on my experience with other married men I know.
Please understand that I am NOT accusing your husband of doing the things they did. But I do have an observation to make that might apply to him.
One man I know had multiple affairs, and when his wife found out about it and dragged him into marriage counselling, he went on and on about how the affairs were HER fault: if she had been more loving, or more whatever, he would not have behaved that way.
(He has since become very ashamed of himself for doing this, and in fact he has worked really hard at repairing his relationship with his wife.)
I know another man who is in prison for sexually abusing his children. He also says that if his wife had been more whatever, he never would have engaged in abusive behavior. (Unlike the first guy, he still suffers from a delusional persecution complex and is not at all ashamed of saying such bull.)
Again, I am not accusing your husband of either infidelity or abuse. But it is not unusual for a husband to get angry at his wife because of things inside himself that he is angry at or ashamed of, and which he cannot face honestly. Perhaps if he were single, he would not have to face his inner demons. But marriage holds up a mirror in which he is forced to see himself, and he might get angry at the mirror.
Please understand that I am NOT accusing your husband of doing the things they did. But I do have an observation to make that might apply to him.
One man I know had multiple affairs, and when his wife found out about it and dragged him into marriage counselling, he went on and on about how the affairs were HER fault: if she had been more loving, or more whatever, he would not have behaved that way.
(He has since become very ashamed of himself for doing this, and in fact he has worked really hard at repairing his relationship with his wife.)
I know another man who is in prison for sexually abusing his children. He also says that if his wife had been more whatever, he never would have engaged in abusive behavior. (Unlike the first guy, he still suffers from a delusional persecution complex and is not at all ashamed of saying such bull.)
Again, I am not accusing your husband of either infidelity or abuse. But it is not unusual for a husband to get angry at his wife because of things inside himself that he is angry at or ashamed of, and which he cannot face honestly. Perhaps if he were single, he would not have to face his inner demons. But marriage holds up a mirror in which he is forced to see himself, and he might get angry at the mirror.
Echambers101 · 26-30, M
Echambers101 · 26-30, M
@Fulcrum don't say that about yourself
Nevertooold · 56-60, M
bearinthehalfwayhouse · 26-30, M
Rhodesianman · 56-60, M
TexChik · F
Oh no I’m so sorry ! Don’t panic . Attorney interviews start tomorrow . If you have friends that have gone through it get a recommendation . It a slow process .
Ahhhstevee · 22-25, M
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DIMaverick4 · 41-45, M
Heaturseat247 · 56-60, M
Regardless of the reason/circumstances, that's a hard pill to swallow, i hope it goes as well as it can for you, and I'm very sorry to hear this, good luck!
SomeMichGuy · M
Wow...I am sooo sorry.
This is a huge hit to one's self, as I have observed...
I hope you are being able to begin to be more...used to it...
? These holidays must have been hard...
😣😢😭
This is a huge hit to one's self, as I have observed...
I hope you are being able to begin to be more...used to it...
? These holidays must have been hard...
😣😢😭
TallMtnMedic · M
Three years later, how are you holding up? Been in your shoes on this one and it took me a long time to get past mine emotionally.
WillaKissing · 56-60, M
WillaKissing · 56-60, M
@Fulcrum His own Guilt is coming out towards you because he knows he betrayed you, so he is painting you as the bad guy in his mind for his stupid betrayals to clear his conscience for cheating and wanting a divorce. I have been there and through it. Nothing you have done, just all him.
Teslin · M
I know, 2 1/2 years late. But it is the first time I saw this.
I hope things are going well!!
I hope things are going well!!
Pretzel · 70-79, M
welcome back - I hope the past couple of years have been good for you
PeterJ · 56-60, M
Sounds absolutely horrible, can't even imagine what you're feeling. Hope all the best for you and yours.
Pretzel · 70-79, M
so almost 3 years later - how is it going?
JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M
Oh so sorry. I hope things get better.
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496sbc · 36-40, M
So sorry hun so sorry i feel terrible for u
ronisme1 · 61-69, M
Been there. Hang in there. Stick to loving the kids, they will help you
MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M
Why?
BigGuy2 · 31-35, M
What happened if he/she was your 'best friend'