I Need a New Job
It was 2011. I was working part time at Target, when my bassist's mother sat me down at her house before I took her son to band practice. Baffled at her son telling her I had a college degree and no full time gig, she wanted to offer me a rare chance, an "in" into the educational field. I'd start as an educational assistant and I'd eventually get my masters in teaching or something education related. I slept on it for a week, not wanting to say "yes" right away. I'd often found asking for help to be a weakness.
I decided to give it a shot and within a two years I was a full time employee with the career stability I'd only dreamed of. But I never went back to school to get my masters. I have some neurological issues that hinder me from improvised speech, and thinking on my feet. In turn, I feel like I'm being bullied all over again - sometimes even by my own "colleagues"! - and I'm about to lose my cool with the boy I'm assigned to and it's only the middle of October.
As I type this I genuinely feel a weight on my heart that I haven't felt in a long time. I'm crying as I type this because I know now, more than ever, that this career is not for me. I'm stronger than I thought for even hanging on for seven years. But I don't even want it anymore. I don't know what to do. Where to turn. I just know I like helping people. Yet I'd also like a job where I'd never have to practice any kind of interaction with the human race again, just do my job, free of emotional stress, and go home. Is a job like that around? Or will I just wind up on the streets? With my luck, I wouldn't be too surprised if the latter were to happen first.
I decided to give it a shot and within a two years I was a full time employee with the career stability I'd only dreamed of. But I never went back to school to get my masters. I have some neurological issues that hinder me from improvised speech, and thinking on my feet. In turn, I feel like I'm being bullied all over again - sometimes even by my own "colleagues"! - and I'm about to lose my cool with the boy I'm assigned to and it's only the middle of October.
As I type this I genuinely feel a weight on my heart that I haven't felt in a long time. I'm crying as I type this because I know now, more than ever, that this career is not for me. I'm stronger than I thought for even hanging on for seven years. But I don't even want it anymore. I don't know what to do. Where to turn. I just know I like helping people. Yet I'd also like a job where I'd never have to practice any kind of interaction with the human race again, just do my job, free of emotional stress, and go home. Is a job like that around? Or will I just wind up on the streets? With my luck, I wouldn't be too surprised if the latter were to happen first.
36-40, M
