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I Am Not Feeling Better I'm Getting Bitter

I feel bitter.

I feel bitter my boyfriend has left me to deal with my worst bout of depression in years.

I feel bitter his family hates me so he can't talk to me when he's home.

I feel bitter I was left alone for the holidays.

I feel bitter not enough my self-proclaimed "best friend" in my current country didn't invite me to hang out, or even bother to text me at all.

I feel bitter I've been sick since Jan 1st, yet no one has bothered to check on me.

I just feel bitter.
ordinaryMe · 31-35, F
Don't let toxic relationships dictate how you feel. I know, I know - easier said than done, but you are worth much more than a boyfriend who leaves you alone in crisis, or 'best friends' who doesn't even bother to check up on you. Bitterness is a good thing because it points out things that were bad for you. Appreciate it, embrace it and take as much as you can from this experience, turning it into your strength rather than something you fight.
ordinaryMe · 31-35, F
Thank you :) I'm happy I can help a little bit.
There is a good reason people say that revenge is best served cold. If you do things in a hurry, you're actually leaving yourself vulnerable, because you do not think it through. Preparation is the key and I know that it can be annoying, as thinking and planning can be a slow process, but it is much better than putting yourself in an even bigger mess. I don't know.. it seems to me like you do not feel comfortable in this situation, yet you're looking for excuses not to face it and deal with the problem. Being avoidant is not a good thing, as you let people walk all over you and put you in uncomfortable and awkward positions. You don't necessarily have to confront him per say. You can sit down with him and ask him what does he thing about your 'friendship'. How well does he think he knows you. Things like this will make him actually stop for a moment and think about what this thing is, as well as wonder about the reasons for you asking, which can lead to him realizing, he has put you in a rather weird position. What do you think?

Why do you think you're being unfair to him? Sounds like you're looking for an excuse to turn it around and blame it on yourself, just so you don't really have to tell him how you actually feel and that maybe it would be best if you took a break from each other to get some perspective. Misery is something some people complain about but don't do anything about it, as they are actually afraid that they may succeed and as a result will be put in a new position and therefore facing new challenges. But change is good. Staying in a situation when someone is not supportive and you have to look for excuses to justify them is not. You're the one who is taking emotional hit in this situation.

I hope it helps a little. :)

Drop me a message if you'd like to talk about it.
LostNtheworld · 26-30, F
@ordinaryMe I'm absolutely following you. You give excellent advice!

You know, I think that's fair. I need to sit him down and ask him. I shouldn't try to eviscerate him on spot, huh? Okay, if he brings up being my friend, I think that's a natural time to bring this up! Awesome! I definitely want to be as open and clear as possible. Of course, he's my coworker, so I can't be too up front, yet.


As for my BF. I've really thought about it. I've been feeling so low. I texted him (I thought he had already left to go back to his dorm where we can talk freely), but he was still home. I simply told him I felt horrible and I wanted to talk. He was there in 5 minutes... I definitely don't want to make excuses for him (I'm okay with being single), but I might have unfairly portrayed him in my messages. Either way, I'll be watching closely these next few months. I told him I'll need him especially, and if he fails me, I'm better off alone. Who needs someone who can't support them when they need that person the most?
ordinaryMe · 31-35, F
Thank you, it's really kind of you to say :)

Yes, I think it would come out natural under these circumstances, it wouldn't make him feel like you were trying to push the conversation in. As I said, just make sure you have something prepared, so your emotions do not take over.

That sounds like a reasonable thing to do. Now that you have communicated your needs, see if he comes through. If he does, I'm happy for you two but if he does not, make sure you focus on your own happiness rather than trying to keep someone just for the sake of keeping them.
Terrance · 41-45, M
I think you might need to look for a new boyfriend. That doesn't sound very loyal
LostNtheworld · 26-30, F
@Terrance thank you :)
lily88mercy · 26-30, F
@LostNtheworld

*Big Hug* to you.

😟
LostNtheworld · 26-30, F
@lily88mercy you're sweet. *big hug back* human interaction is all I want, so thank you
deadgerbil · 22-25
LostNtheworld · 26-30, F
@deadgerbil thank, man. *hugs back*

 
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