I Am Not Feeling Better I'm Getting Bitter

@ordinaryMe I really appreciate your comment. Truly. Your advice is something I'll take to heart. Do you think I should confront these people? One is a coworker, but I know he'll suddenly pretend to be friendly at work. I'm really sick of the fake friendliness. You're not my best friend or even a friend, just a co-worker, so please stop saying that.

As for my boyfriend, I dunno what to do! I get that he has work and school, but knowing how I've felt and still barely making time for me is shit! I've constantly talked to him about how little we talk. I get that my day being his night is hard, but I'd still make time for him. I just feel like shit!

I'm here, if you'd like to talk about it!
Well, you can do it, just don't be too aggressive in the way you do it, so he does not feel attacked and turn on defensive mode. You're clearly in a situation when you feel a bit vulnerable, so if he snapped at you, you could say things you would regret afterwards. Think through what you want to say to him first, don't just go with the flow. Think about what he may say back to you, so that you are actually prepared for it.

I believe that if you actually care for someone you make time for them. You want to talk to them, share your life with them and listen to what they have to say. You want to make sure they are alright. Especially in a situation like this. If he cannot seem to bring himself to care about you when you're down, he sure as hell does not deserve your attention. You are worth much more than being someone's secondary entertainment, when they decide that they feel like seeing you.

@ordinaryMe Dear goodness, you're so wise. Everything you're saying makes perfect sense. I'm really on edge... Im so upset and hurt that I was thinking of saying something to hurt him back... Like you said, I should take a breath and think before I speak.. I don't know what to say. Maybe nothing really is better? I only have 6 months left. When I leave, I'll never hear from him again.. plus he does help me pass the time with playful banter.

Thank you! You're absolutely right. When you care for someone, you make time for them. I feel like I'm being a bit unfair to him. Ugh it's all so confusing. Really thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you :) I'm happy I can help a little bit.
There is a good reason people say that revenge is best served cold. If you do things in a hurry, you're actually leaving yourself vulnerable, because you do not think it through. Preparation is the key and I know that it can be annoying, as thinking and planning can be a slow process, but it is much better than putting yourself in an even bigger mess. I don't know.. it seems to me like you do not feel comfortable in this situation, yet you're looking for excuses not to face it and deal with the problem. Being avoidant is not a good thing, as you let people walk all over you and put you in uncomfortable and awkward positions. You don't necessarily have to confront him per say. You can sit down with him and ask him what does he thing about your 'friendship'. How well does he think he knows you. Things like this will make him actually stop for a moment and think about what this thing is, as well as wonder about the reasons for you asking, which can lead to him realizing, he has put you in a rather weird position. What do you think?

Why do you think you're being unfair to him? Sounds like you're looking for an excuse to turn it around and blame it on yourself, just so you don't really have to tell him how you actually feel and that maybe it would be best if you took a break from each other to get some perspective. Misery is something some people complain about but don't do anything about it, as they are actually afraid that they may succeed and as a result will be put in a new position and therefore facing new challenges. But change is good. Staying in a situation when someone is not supportive and you have to look for excuses to justify them is not. You're the one who is taking emotional hit in this situation.

I hope it helps a little. :)

Drop me a message if you'd like to talk about it.

@ordinaryMe I'm absolutely following you. You give excellent advice!

You know, I think that's fair. I need to sit him down and ask him. I shouldn't try to eviscerate him on spot, huh? Okay, if he brings up being my friend, I think that's a natural time to bring this up! Awesome! I definitely want to be as open and clear as possible. Of course, he's my coworker, so I can't be too up front, yet.


As for my BF. I've really thought about it. I've been feeling so low. I texted him (I thought he had already left to go back to his dorm where we can talk freely), but he was still home. I simply told him I felt horrible and I wanted to talk. He was there in 5 minutes... I definitely don't want to make excuses for him (I'm okay with being single), but I might have unfairly portrayed him in my messages. Either way, I'll be watching closely these next few months. I told him I'll need him especially, and if he fails me, I'm better off alone. Who needs someone who can't support them when they need that person the most?

Thank you, it's really kind of you to say :)

Yes, I think it would come out natural under these circumstances, it wouldn't make him feel like you were trying to push the conversation in. As I said, just make sure you have something prepared, so your emotions do not take over.

That sounds like a reasonable thing to do. Now that you have communicated your needs, see if he comes through. If he does, I'm happy for you two but if he does not, make sure you focus on your own happiness rather than trying to keep someone just for the sake of keeping them.