I Have Schizoaffective Disorder

Truth is that I can't pretend to be normal anymore, for everyone else to be happy, even though my family doesn't want to hear it and my husband is embarrassed by it.....It is how I think and experience life even if its different from everybody elses life.....So far it has affected my self esteem, people argue over me, people put me down, people say I use it as an excuse and I feel it, all of the negativity and it defines me....I have no self esteem, I have no pride....I admit I am crazy, and all I ever wanted was for people to accept me for me.