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I Am Lifeless In So Many Ways

The weight of the sediment is overwhelming, I sit here in the depths where the current casts out the unwanted. A place even the light of sun can not pierce. I know without me exists fresh air, the sun, moon and stars, yet I cant seem to see through the murk and muck. Slowly going mad as I chase the echoes of once happy memories. Yet I ponder was it true happiness or just the best illusion I had?
Here I sit smashing words together in hopes of finding and expressing a feeling, that reflects my mind.

here in the dark without even the stars to wish on.

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MarkPaul · 26-30, M

The stars are inside of us.

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lovingdead · 31-35, M

@MarkPaul other than my view of the world and people in it, probably not.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@lovingdead But, that view is admirable and can bridge the gap between how you see yourself and what the world thinks of you.

lovingdead · 31-35, M

@MarkPaul true, but admirable in the eyes of others, as how the strength of people is admirable when they continue forward when the rest of their world is crashing down. to the world it is nothing short of amazing, to them, it's just another day.

i do get the concept of what you are saying though

ethereal · F

Nicely written!
Feeling exactly the same these days.

lovingdead · 31-35, M

@ethereal with a username like that, it's plausible that all you need is a happy thought and you will be able to soar away from the waters depths. Do you have any? What keeps to glow alive in you?

ethereal · F

@lovingdead Happy thoughts aren’t enough anymore. I need some alone contemplative time away from people, i try to cheer myself up with music and being around nature, and it does make me feel alive, but then people again drag me down into the depths. Everyone wants things to be done in their way, and i just want to float. There is so much beauty of nature around that i can get lost in it, if it weren’t for people and responsibilities.

lovingdead · 31-35, M

@ethereal well put, do your best to make time for yourself, you are more important than you know

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