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I Have Issues With My Mother

My mum and I have never had a good relationship. She has said some very nasty and hurtful things to me in the past. When I was a child she would often compare me to my friends, and say things like "why can't you be more like Helen?". I remember once in the car she was quizzing me and when I took too long to answer her she said "Paige (my younger stepsister) could answer that. What's wrong with you?". My mum always made me feel like I was stupid, and not good enough. She also commented on my weight a lot, and still does now. My mum once said to me "you can't possibly be happy with what you see when you look in the mirror". I also remember us being in a shopping centre one day, and mum pointed out a woman who was a lot bigger than me, and said something about her; because my reaction to the woman's size wasn't enough, my mum told me "I'd rather you say that you'd rather be dead than look like that". It hurts me when she says these things, but she says that she worries about me and just wants me to lose weight. It's hard for me to believe that though when she looks at me like I'm the most disgusting thing in the world. I honestly think that she's embarrassed of me. I feel bullied by her at times, and when she talks to me about my weight it just makes me feel worthless and like a failure. I just have to try to block out what she says because she makes me feel completely hopeless, and like there's no point in trying to lose weight.
SugarRush · 31-35, F
Hate to be blunt but your mother sounds ill (mentally). If anything she should be either supporting you in losing weight (if that's what YOU want) or accepting you as you are. I feel she's quite threatened by you, whether that's through jealousy or something else - I'm unsure but this is something that obviously has been affecting you and will do for some time, especially with her still in your life. I hope you speak to someone, if not professionally then a friend or someone who can somewhat undo all the hurtful things and build you up as your confidence and self esteem has be put down for so long. I'm not sure whether it's her intention to make you feel bad but I can tell you this; there is nothing wrong with you! and if anything, there is something definitely wrong with her.
RebeccaJP · 36-40, F
@AutumnxRayne: I do have mental issues too, so it's not easy to deal with the negativity.
SugarRush · 31-35, F
@RebeccaJP: it's not surprising that you do, being exposed to that sort of abuse (that's what it is) of course is going to mess with your mental health,it would do anyone's. The negativity isn't needed and you need to put your own health and wellbeing first.
RebeccaJP · 36-40, F
@AutumnxRayne: my dad lives in Brazil, but we talk a lot about stuff like this and he sympathises with me and understands how harsh my mum can be. He and my mum are divorced. He cried when I told him how my mum had been treating me.
McShay1978 · 46-50, M
I am so sorry about what your mother say& did to you. It's sad she was so damn mean to you. Remember that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Don't let someone like her bring you down. If you have other family & friends who loves & cares for you, that what matters the most. If you ever feel alone or need someone to listen. Please reach other and contact me or someone that you can trust. Even know I don't know you, I just want 4o hug you & say that not everyone is like your mother. Please know that there are still nice & caring people!
RebeccaJP · 36-40, F
@McShay1978: thank you, that's so nice of you.
McShay1978 · 46-50, M
@RebeccaJP: mother is supposed to love their children unconditional! Since I join this site, people have been helping me out. I am here if you need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on!! Don't hold it in & if you want get help professional or someone you can trust. Sorry to write this novel but just reaching out to show people care!
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RebeccaJP · 36-40, F
@TattoosAndPiercings: that's horrible! When I once mentioned that I enjoyed watching UFC my mum was disgusted, yet when my cousin said she watched it, she was all smiley and laughing about it!
okaybut · 56-60, M
@TattoosAndPiercings: For you to decide...you should load up the 19 images of them in different posts. Would be fun to see.
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GerOttman · 61-69, M
Ah the mom story... That takes me back! Nothing was ever good enough and if, purely by accident, I did get something right it should have been done yesterday. "Oh, you emptied the dishes without being told. What do you want, a medal?"

 
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