I Battle Depression

I think most days, I'm okay, but, I've never really been fine. There's just always this feeling of being on the verge of something like I've been staring into the abyss for so long I can no longer identify myself from it. So I'm okay...but I'm not fine.
I still try though, to do stuff in my life that will be fulfilling. Sometimes, it works in my favor, but I think it's just this feeling that I can die any moment or any day and I'd be okay with that. Even though I do have some ambitions in life, I find it so easy to throw it away for nonexistence. It just makes me want to not give a shit.