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I Am Single But Not Sure If I Am Ready to Mingle

I am 19 years old, nice to everyone, decent looking, good body, but I have never been in a serious relationship.. by my own choosing. Sometimes I feel like I'm messed up because I choose to be alone and I'm not doing what the crowd does but then I try to imagine myself in a relationship and remember why I don't mess with that. Why do you guys even bother? Feelings will just be hurt, hearts will be broken, betrayal is bound to happen or the flame between you two will die eventually. It's all so pointless! why would I want to put myself through more pain than I've already been in. I feel like I'm too smart for that. No one has ever been worth the risk to me.... maybe I'm too picky.

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blindbob · 41-45

i get what you're saying. but love can be like madness. i guess you have to fall head over heels in love to lose all sense of ration. i think first love works like that, but after you crash and burn, i don't think you ever love so completely and recklessly. if you're smart you can spot the a-holes from a mile away or you just become resigned or cynical about it all.

Summergirly · 26-30, F

I don't think it's physically possible for me to fall head over heels for anyone. I'm too practical, too overanalytical, too wise. I was abused my entire life so I don't just jump into anything with ANYONE. I have the same close friends from childhood and I haven't made any new close friends. I just don't know how to form any type of close relationship with anyone, especially males, (Abused by my dad) And I also don't really feel the need to have that kind of relationship with someone but when it comes down to it.. I don't want to die alone..:(

blindbob · 41-45

@TheFlowerThatBloomsInAdversity: well, our backgrounds are similar, and i felt the way you do for a long time, but then BOOM, so who knows? the BOOM didn't happen for me until i was 25 and even while it was going on, i knew it didn't make sense, but the heart wants what it wants... until it doesn't.

Summergirly · 26-30, F

Ugh.. Such a waste of feelings. I'm so not down. I'm so afraid of pain now that I'm free from it. I'm also afraid the person I end up falling for will be just like my dad but he will have hid it well until I'm trapped. I'd rather die than become my mother

blindbob · 41-45

@TheFlowerThatBloomsInAdversity: i feel like that too. i just want to have my kids, do my work, and not bother with some asshole trying to control me, disrespect me, and cheat on me.