I Am The Other Woman

EP refugee here...I have been the OW for about 4 years now. He was my OM at first and I got divorced a couple years ago. Never been more in love than with my MM. He is my fantasy come true. W has been suspicious from the get go and has confronted me multiple times. Nothing gets in the way. He is loyal and determined and in love. There are many ups and downs. I have tried to end it over and over and have been unable to walk away from him.