I Am The Other Woman

Abusers attack their victim with nasty, cruel allegations. For example, the abuser may say “My wife is a drunk, talks bad about me, she's violent and a lazy *^%$ who only thinks of herself and lies to everyone about me. She needs me and is too afraid to let me go. She depends on me to take care of her and will fight to keep me.”

We need to ask ourselves, is what this guy is saying about his wife really believable? Often the abuser’s accusations are bizarre and outlandish. Real victims do not exaggerate their abuser’s conduct; rather, they tend to downplay or not report all the evil things the abuser has done because they are trying to not tell lies and because they may have suppressed memories of abusive incidents while trying to walk on eggshells and survive.

If a victim has come to the point of realizing the evils the abuser has done, the victim may report the abuse to others to seek help and support, but the victim won’t exaggerate and invent lies like the abuser does.

Abused victims, and perhaps especially genuine male victims of abuse, exhibit humility and shame. They are far more reluctant to open up about what has happened to them. They will not insist that they have lots of people who believe them! Real abuse victims, you see, often lack allies. It is the abuser who has them!