I Am The Other Woman

Abusers attack their victim with nasty, cruel allegations. For example, the abuser may say “My wife is a drunk, talks bad about me, she's violent and a lazy *^%$ who only thinks of herself and lies to everyone about me. She needs me and is too afraid to let me go. She depends on me to take care of her and will fight to keep me.”

We need to ask ourselves, is what this guy is saying about his wife really believable? Often the abuser’s accusations are bizarre and outlandish. Real victims do not exaggerate their abuser’s conduct; rather, they tend to downplay or not report all the evil things the abuser has done because they are trying to not tell lies and because they may have suppressed memories of abusive incidents while trying to walk on eggshells and survive.

If a victim has come to the point of realizing the evils the abuser has done, the victim may report the abuse to others to seek help and support, but the victim won’t exaggerate and invent lies like the abuser does.

Abused victims, and perhaps especially genuine male victims of abuse, exhibit humility and shame. They are far more reluctant to open up about what has happened to them. They will not insist that they have lots of people who believe them! Real abuse victims, you see, often lack allies. It is the abuser who has them!

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Solostance

The supporter of this abuser has made comments such as, "She does not know how to love him. He and I speak throughout his work day. He shares with me his day and by the time he gets home, he no longer needs to share with her. Her son is a drunk. He wants to be with me and only stays with her because of the children. He has never walked down the street hand in hand with anyone. He has asked me to go on vacations with him and his family and keep me tucked away until he has time to spend with me. When his wife is away on a trip, I come over and spend the night. I have even walked my dog passed his house in hopes of him seeing me."

The supporter of this abuser knows that he beats, shames and disrespects his wife and she keeps pushing for more abuse in his home. Even made the statement of one day having the approval of his children and integrating her children with his. I guess those plans have changed considering the circumstances of the latest event in which ALL OF HER CHILDREN WILL KNOW THAT YOU HAVE BEEN THE INSTIGATOR OF THE MAJORITY OF HIS FRUSTRATIONS THAT HE TOOK OUT ON HIS WIFE!!!!

Solostance

My Great-Grandmother had this saying when she noticed instigators of bad situations....

"You know where you have been but you do not know where you are going."

In other words, you know your past but your future is uncertain. You may very well be his victim too without knowing.....Any Certified Life Coach/Home Child Care Provider should be knowledgeable in spotting an abuser and their traits. Guess you was absent on that day of learning about "warning signs of abused victims".....LMAO

Solostance

I know the truth will come out one day. The child that has been hidden for far too long will also be revealed. The man that has taken care of this child and who believes in his heart that he is the biological father, will have his heartbroken as too.

Tangled webs we weave when we practice to deceive.

Many people will be hurt by the decisions two people made to have a moment of pleasure. That moment of pleasure has led to years of deceit and betrayals towards many families. Many families because he has many other women in his life. A step-sister will be revealed. Children will be revealed and the children of the OW will know that the man Mom has introduced them to, is a married man and NOT her friend as she has suggested. They will question the other things she has lied to them about....Oh boy!!! This one is made for a movie!!! I hope Tyler Perry plays me!!!!

Solostance

He's telling lies. Saying he left home because his wife keeps accusing him of cheating. He's too humiliated to tell that he's been abusing his wife for years. Too shamed to tell the truth because it will make the boy scout facade his built for himself come tumbling down to the real insecure, selfish, narcissistic man that he is.

But God!!! Look at what God is doing. He's opening doors for the abused victim to find safety and security in Him. God!!! He's the beginning and the end. He's the almighty one who will save her from the snares, plots and plans of the evil one. God will keep her safe from the grasp of the enemies hand. I know that He will because we are all praying for her safety, her happiness and her future. Watch God take care of this lady and keep her and her children safe from the two of you!!!! Watch God!!! If you haven't seen God in action, watch how he will transform her life and keep those children safe from Daddies abuse! Watch Him!!!!

Santi96 · 26-30

Sad but true, valid noteworthy points. 🙄

Solostance

@Santi96 Yes it is very sad. But the truth had to come out one day.

What is done in the dark comes to light. But people thought that they could keep the secret forever and didn't know that they were leaving clues. God is good!!!!

HappytoTalk · 61-69, F

The abuser plays the victim.. and says these things about his wife , the enabler will never question It, nor will they question the wife.. it suits them to put the wife in a bad light to justify their actions..

Solostance

@HappytoTalk You are definitely right!!! The enabler hangs onto his every word. Believes everything he says to her is right without realizing if he was the good man that he claimed to be she would not be an equation in his marriage. If his marriage was failing and in this case abusive, he would NOT involve anyone but get out of the bad marriage. But....misery loves company....

Karma....
No need for revenge
Just sit back and wait. Those who hurt you will eventually screw up themselves, and if you are lucky, God will let you watch....

GJOFJ3 · 61-69, M

This is spot on. Abusers are almost always manipulators and usually very good at manipulating others and facts to their liking even in court

Solostance

@GJOFJ3 Thank you for your reply.

SW-User

[quote]Real victims do not exaggerate their abuser’s conduct;[/quote]

False statement. Only when a victim is not confident that his/her plea would be heard or the victim has some sort of attachment with the abuser, he/she would stay silent or tolerate. Otherwise, no victim if gets oppertunity to share their horror won't stop from sharing without hiding anything.

Solostance

@SW-User Thank you for responding. I appreciate your reply.

Over time and when the victim is comfortable, the victim will share the experience of abuse. Some incidents of the abuse will remain a secret because of shame, staying and judgement of others.

When someone is abused, no exaggeration is needed. The evidence speaks for itself.

Solostance

It's funny when you are dragging someone through the mud, everything smells like roses to you...your life begins to take on a whole new meaning and wishing for your spot in his life...but when the dragging flips and your character is on the line, the shizit begins to stank....You aint' seen nothing yet....tell him to stop calling her because she's not forgiving this time....

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