He abuses me, but yet I love him so much what's wrong with me?

This is not the result of a scientific study, it's my own observations and experience.

First, the abuser does not hit, kick, slap, punch, shove, pull hair, rape, hurt 24/7.

Often, when they're not doing the above, they are affectionate, kind, thoughtful, attentive and romantic (most especially after an abusive episode).

It's a form of brain-washing - the victim so often hears "I have to punish you because you did x bad thing." Maybe the victim did, maybe they didn't, but they can be convinced it WAS their fault entirely there was a fingerprint on the bathroom mirror or a wrinkle in the comforter on the bed.

It is not possible to stay entirely sane when, if the abuser catches sight of you giving a strange man directions outside the grocery store, when you arrive home, you get knocked across the room and the abuser screams "Whore!"
at you. You try understand why he is angry and what you can do to stop making him angry.

You focus on the things you know he hates. You start checking the house before he's due home from work, for fingerprints and wrinkles and lurking dust bunnies. You worry about those things a lot, and it absorbs a lot of your time.

Fact is, he does't hurt you for any reason but one - he likes to. He likes it that you worry constantly about things that might make him mad, so HE is always on your mind. You may as well not worry, though, because there will always be a new explanation, although the basic reason doesn't change.

He likes to hurt you. He loves it.

Get used to it or get out.

Sounds like you have a tendency for self destruction. I would seek therapy to help with that.

Women are not the only ones getting abused. I was in an extremely abusive marriage for 25 years. I keep making excuses for her, I kept apologizing. It just kept getting worse. The last time she went through a fit of rag, I walked out the door and never went back. I didn't know others knew about it. They all asked me what took me so long. I've happy now. Still hiding the effects of PTSD, but happy!

If he abuses you then he certainly doesn’t love you equally

How can you love someone who abuses you?

It's not uncommon to be fair. It's hard to let go even if the relationship is toxic. Have you confided to close friends and family?

I kind of know how it feels. My girlfriend is controlling and makes me unhappy but I can’t seem to leave

He's brainwashed you into thinking that no one else would love you.

...which is total bullshit!

you are hooked.. and he is your drug .. you need rehabilitation ...

You obviously LOVE him and what he is doing with you..

It depends on what the "abuse" is (that is a wide swath)..
And if it puts you in danger or not.
You may like some portion of it and not all of it, so talk to him and get him to change to the parts that you like..

I ask myself the same

Nothing "wrong". However, you need to understand a chronic abuser isn't going to change..it'll only escalate as time goes by..have the courage to get out of there.

leave him..move away.. don't waste ur time

You don't love yourself enough.

This happens too often. So sad.

Be strong.... Walk away...

😢💔