I Have a Mental Illness

Ive suffered from depression/anxiety for the past decade of my life. As a child my stepfather tried to kill me. Thats when the depression started. I was 10. At 13 i was on antidepressants and i would reject them. Eventually i stopped taking them. By senior year of high school i was struggling. I went from being an A student to barely passing. My school counsler had even told me i could have done better. Move out on my own and i finally think im doing ok. Then a coworker threatens to kill me because i spilled a drink. At that point my life spiraled. I stopped sleeping. All i wanted to do is lay in bed. Now im left playing trial and error on drugs to sleep. Im also angry... i dont know why but im angry at everything. I dont know how long work will let me get away with getting at customers (were they being asshats? yes. Did they deserve it? probably) i also dont know what id do without my current job. Its getting harder and harder though to go to work everyday. Getting out of bed has become a great acomplishment.