I Have a Mental Illness

@MarkPaul Not everyone is bullied or ostracized. The kids doing the bullying weren't being bullied. I wish people would stop saying that everyone is bullied when they're growing up, when it's obviously not true. IT DOES seem to minimize what they're going through. It's like saying, "Oh come on, everyone goes through this. Why are you making such a big deal out of it?"

When you look at a group of kids ganging up on one kid because he/she seems a little bit different for whatever reason, you can't say that all those kids are being bullied.

@TeresaRudolph71 I think if you look at actual statistics, you will find, surprisingly, bullies often act out in the way they do because in fact they have been bullied themselves; it's what they know. It's not unlike the syndrome of people who commit child abuse are often victims themselves.

Saying everyone goes through some type of bullying isn't a way to minimize anyone's pain, but instead to recognize how painful the experience is. Instead of interpreting an understanding for that pain as, "it's not a big deal," a more accurate representation would be, "I feel your pain because I went through it and here is what I did to survive."

Encouraging someone to wallow in their pain in isolated suffering is hardly productive. Calling out the behavior as a common experience that most people go through (including those who might be suppressing their memory of it) can help those who experience it "now" find ways to deal with it and not let it become a driving force in their lives - or serve as a model on which to repeat the abuse themselves.

@MarkPaul Point well taken. I agree that it's definitely not productive to wallow in one's pain, though it's also not healthy to suppress it either. People need to work through it so they can get it out, and then move on and not allow it to be the main focus, or driving force, in their lives.

I'm not sure how many bullies were actually bullied themselves. Having been bullied myself, I can't imagine wanting to bully someone else, because I know how painful that can be. But I guess that different people react differently to the same experiences.

I do like what you said about others being able to understand their pain, having been through similar experiences, and being able to offer good advice and hope for surviving it and being able to have a fulfilling live in spite of it, without continuing the cycle of abuse.

And he was also serverly bullied into high school. But he joined a group and met some kids with issues, made friends. He's in college now and is doing wonderful socially. He has a regular group of friends who he hangs with on weekends. Don't worry, it will get better