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I Shouldnt Be Alive

Obviously i'm not dead yet. But their was a time where I lost my way as a teenager and abused substances regularly for almost a year. I think back how often I was in a car with drunk friends or how close I was to ODing.

I once drove a car while high and very nearly got into a fatal car accident which more then certainly would have either killed me or damaged me for life. But somehow im alive and well.

When I go through depressive episodes I wonder if im even meant to be alive. Am I just lucky? I don't know. I look at all the kids who were my age that I know of who did the same things I did and lost their lives. Nothing makes me any different from them. Except for the fact that someway somehow im alive.
Tatsumi · 31-35, M
Yeah, me too. Except I abused substances more like 5 years, then off and on for another 6. I drove high and drunk all the time. Actually crashed my beloved car on the highway going 75mph. Oh man. That night I was at a party, and I had taken fuckin' everything. Xanax, alcohol, adderall, weed, cocaine. Possibly other stuff. Frankly, I'm surprised I got as far as I did. The dude who's house I was at said I should just sleep the night, too. :|

Smashed right into one of those highway signs. My car was completely totalled. I didn't have a scratch on me. Should have been put in jail for DUI, for sure. No idea why the cops didn't check me. The car probably smelled like alcohol and had a lot of drugs in it, too. Totalled another car while fucked up, too, couple years after that. Only going 40mph, that time. Flipped the car, though. Yet again, not a scratch.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Some other shit, and you'd really be like, "Holy shit, how are you alive?" I also took a particular substance that the doctors said should have killed me 100 times over. But it only landed me in a coma for two weeks. Also some other overdoses.

So yeah. Survivors by dumb luck, you and I. ✊
adshaw · 36-40, M
Have you considered that in surviving it would be good to be there for others who are going down a similar path?
DanniRoxi · 26-30, F
Yes of course

 
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