I Will Not Be Involved With Toxic People

I am having that issue with a sister of mine. She has been a Troll for a long time. My husband nicknamed her Troll. it is fitting. Her husband just padded away 3 weeks ago. She got mad at me for something I said at the hospital. That was meant in a light hearted way. I called to apologize to her and she ripped me a new one over the phone and wouldn't let me get a word in edge wise. she started talking about shoot that never happened. and she started talking about slights that never happened like not having the two down for dinner. and how I hurt her husband very deeply by that. we were told by her on several occasions he could not spend any length of time here cause we have birds, cats and dogs and that works exacerbate his lung condition.

I know she is grieving but she had ripped on my husband and I several times. Several times I have been her verbal whipping post. I told her that we need to go to a third party is we are too get our lives and our communication skills back on track. She told me I was the one with the problem not her and she sees no reason to pay a third party. that we should sit down and talk about it ourselves.

my cousin recently called to say my sister sent her a scathing email through Facebook. For one comment my cousin made about her niece's behavior. that was appropriate in nature. my cousin sent me a copy of it and it was dreadfully acidic. I was even surprised at the content.

if I could akin my sisters attributes to anything it would be the dementors in Harry Potter. I will see her at family functions in the spring. How do I deal with her with out being a doormat and with out alienating the rest of my family of origin?

Oh B... I feel the energy of what you're saying. Wow! For so much of my life I was a pleaser (thinking I was being kind) and I agree, trying to please unhappy, mean types just doesn’t work. So here's my two cents (for what it's worth)... I don't think kindness of heart is ever wrong. I believe our souls ache to be kind and to experience kindness. And I believe the way to accomplish this is to be true to self—honor self; that holding self in high regard is the ultimate kindness to self, and to all. From this, other kindnesses follow. It doesn't mean bullies won't bully. It means their bullying really can't touch us or erode how we feel about ourselves—not really. Kindness... to self, first. It’s a fabulous way to experience, and then role model what the heart and soul ache for... wholeness.


PS: I have experienced you as exceptionally kind. Thank you! Soft breezes to you, my friend!

After so many years of living with it, going back getting the same hateful treatment, 4 years ago I told them my health can't take it anymore, said, they all deserve each other, I loved them and walked away. I moved away young anyway.Year after year I'd go back hoping things would change? Just wanted a family like you, so we make our own. Blood doesn't make a family :) pick your friends carefully. Spent half my life, the other half I want in peace.You gain respect by walking away. " A friend is a present you give yourself." by~ Robert Louis Stevenson.. My friend I'm grateful I meet you.When you told me they were 'immature' those words set me free! They still are !"very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself,in your way of thinking." To give kindness one must have purpose larger than one's self... You are awesome!

I must wholeheatedly disagree with that Ben Stein fellow, whoever he is. Appeasement never wins. If you make yourself a doormat then people will, understandably, walk all over you. I was a people pleaser for many years and a second and third chance giver. Got slapped in the face every time. Now my policy is simple - cross me and I'll cross, nay, crucify you.

Thanks for your post, I agree with your summary.

I agree with your post.You can't change bullies or tricksters.So if you find out someone is a bully or a trickster,it is better to get away from them.

forget those that are bad to others, go on with your life, there are many other things to think about than bad people

So do I try it or not? I need to know!..

I have that book,thanks for reminding me.