I Think I Think Too Much

When left idle for too long, sometimes I start thinking too much, and about things that I shouldn't be thinking about. I sometimes start to feel upset about things that haven't actually happened. I was in the drug store today and I walked through the aisle where they have all the birthday and holiday cards and stuff, and as I was walking past, I spotted a "sorry for your loss" card meant for someone who had lost their child. It made me imagine what would happen if I died, and I began feeling upset and distressed over the thought of my father grieving my death. Which is a senseless thing for me to think about because it's not even real, I'm still here alive and my father is just fine. But it really wracked me. There's very few things in this world that truly hurt me, but seeing my dad upset is one of them, so even imagining it made me feel like I wanted to curl in a ball and sob. So there I was in a goddamned CVS on the brink of an emotional meltdown because I saw a stupid ass card and my unchecked imagination started feeding me despondent thoughts of my own premature death. Sometimes I really hate my own mind.