I Am Afraid of the Deep Sea

Every night after school I get into my dorm and I cry and I scream and the past few mornings I have woken up this way. Screaming during my ironing, I kicked the washer door today after I closed it. It could have shattered and not only break the washer but most likely injure my foot horribly. I have no release and every instinct to lash out. I've resorted to spilling here again, I need the satisfaction of at least somebody knowing how I feel.
God, I had been doing so well. But around the end of February things changed again and recently my void state has peaked and all I have is my lab monday-thursday, the rest is turmoil. I can't sleep, my vision goes black holding in the real screams.