@virgomoon: I too have mine with me, it's odd (near poetic) how imaginary friends can be more real than real people....adult life was not the fun filled adventure I hoped for....yet delusional optimism says it will change any time now....(waiting for the whole "drop dead fred" thing to happen.

Friends are often hard to find....money issues are unfortunate everywhere.... (yet they do sometimes show us who sticks around or who helps out)....family stuff, are there any points you do have to see them? Unavoidably?.....and although I agree with not wanting things in the future to fall apart, it's the cycle of life, a tree grows up from a tiny spec, and each year everything it creates dies while still attached to it, and is torn away by the wind or it grows so cold they fall at its feet, and through the dark winter it knows all of its past memories lay buried under the snow, yet come spring it gathers it's strength and fights again.....I'm not saying after every storm comes a rainbow, but there are times it is worth it.

@lovingdead: i don't have to see my blood family since i moved pretty far away from them, i just get nervous thinking they can email me. my aunt kept emailing with me back and forth a while ago, we mostly argued, now we don't talk. i like what you say about the tree, i just hope i'll be able to keep my strength up and continue forward

Strength can often be found in strange places.