I never want my kids to mess up and think “my mom is gonna kill me!”

Great to hear! My parents ruled with an iron fist instilling trembling fear in us. My brother still hasn't let it go. I vowed to make sure I did things differently. I knew what was going on in my child's life because she always kept me in the loop because she wasn't afraid of me.

So far my kids will call one of us if they have an issue. They are home schooled by our Nanny so she is home with them . My hubby took early retirement and does consulting ...which means he enjoys working on his jeep rebuild . Its when they are older and need help or a ride that you have to tell them to call any time for help, or a ride if they have been drinking with out punitive consequences. Of course the drinking thing would probably get a breathilizer installed on their car

1,000,000% agree

I raised four children and can understand the need for the immediate “tone” of love. I would replace the term “fear” with respect which needs to be learned.

Exactly how I’m raising my kids... never want them to fear me

Agreed... You need to be their protector

Pretty much how I was raised

Respect yes, fear no

This...

I agree. Being afraid to go to their parents is often how kids end up in dire situations on the street. Some people here seem to think if they brutalize children just because that’s how they were raised and they survived it (questionable) that being “strict” makes a good parent.