I Am Not Ashamed of Sexuality

I don't care if people disagree with how I feel. As time passes I am starting to loose interest in boys, over the past six months I have had an overwhelming desire to be with girls. I think about it all the time and I often get really emotional about it, I get so wound up about I vomit sometimes. I can't explain the feelings, other than always wanting to be with a girl I don't feel happy or sad. The feelings often make me cry and for some reason I start feeling very confused. My body is starting to change a bit lately and I'm wondering if there is a connection.

I have a friend that I have known since I was nine, we have explored our sexual feeling with each other for a long time now. We love each other and spend most weekends together but we have been going through some tough times recently. She told me she still wants to be with boys and can't commit herself to me, I understand her feelings, but the thought of loosing her frightens me, especially now. At this time I'm not comfortable talking to my step sis or step mum about this.

I was alone Friday night and didn't sleep at all so I started writing this, but stopped because I didn't know if it even makes sense, I wrote this and read it and changed it and read it again and again until I could explain it as best as I can. I'm going crazy and really need some sleep 🥺