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I Hate Manipulative People

I always disliked manipulative people, mainly because they are very selfish. I just cannot connect with them, even if they are not trying to manipulate me at that moment.

But I also recently had a small epiphany. I realised how incredibly easy it is to manipulate people. I was at a meeting, and I had an almost out of body experience. I felt like I was watching the whole meeting completely objectively, because it was a very aggressive meeting, but I did not feel it that way. I saw how everybody was completely absorbed into their own thoughts, mainly unaware of themselves. And I could just feel how vulnerable were they to manipulation. And I tried that power, and I could just lead the whole group into whatever my motivation was.

I really felt like a sociopath, since I could feel the enormous power and ease of manipulation. I can understand why this so addictive. If you ever feel this way, please be careful. It feels good, but everybody hates you. Is it worth it?

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TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F

That's very interesting. No, it really isn't worth it. It's not worth all the anger that you leave people with. I've heard that narcissists who manipulate a lot of people tend to move a lot, and change jobs often too, (if they manipulate their coworkers), for the same reason that predatory animals are always on the move. They eventually run out of prey where they are and have to move on to new territory.

I suppose this could be addicting, but I would think that this would become exhausting after a while, and I personally feel that it's much more deeply satisfying to have deep, genuine connections with people. Because if you never show anyone who you really are, then you can never gain acceptance of your true self. Because all people fall in love with is the facade that the manipulator presents to people. If this goes on for long enough, what happens to your true self?

Those are my thoughts on the subject.

sumojumo · 36-40, M

@TeresaRudolph71 very nicely put, thank you for the comment

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sumojumo · 36-40, M

@Katty1984 do not overdo-it :) and players tend to meet someone with superior skills than theirs. I wish this never happens to you. But what if you meet someone amazing, someone that completely overwhelms you. Will you be able to relax? What if he is a player with superior skills to yours?
Will you be able to love someone sincerely?

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sumojumo · 36-40, M

That is exactly the catch. The ones with serious skills will get you, they are out there. Because there is no bigger reward for a player to outplay another player. But none of them will want you long term. They move on. You are just a rug to wipe their feet on. That is just a fact of life - for every predator, there is another predator which feasts on the poor souls that thought they are at the top of the food chain. :D I am being so light-hearted today..

ThePerfectUsername · 70-79, M

An epiphany indeed and one well worth bearing in mind the next time someone tries to manipulate you.

sumojumo · 36-40, M

@ThePerfectUsername indeed, I feel quite powerful now, this experience made me more independent and less prone to manipulation...

revenant · F

that is an interesting observation. I see it and observe it but i cannot bring myself use people as toys or objects.

sumojumo · 36-40, M

@revenant that is because you have the most wonderful thing we posess - empathy. Imagine if you did not have it, the sky is the limit. And currently, lack of empathy is considered a competitive advantage, i.e. the less you have, easier it is for you to succeed. Maybe I overgeneralize a bit, but on average I think it is true.

revenant · F

@sumojumo we live in an inverted world indeed.

sumojumo · 36-40, M

@revenant but I am not willing to fall into pessimism. I have seen so many wonderful, emphatic people. We are the majority, we are just a bit too passive. We need to become passionate and almost evangelical :) about our humanism. This will empower other such people not to feel weak if they feel other peoples need. And being nice must become a synonim for a brave person.

Sorry, i went off the rails a little bit :D.

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