Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

I Want to Get Married

So I want to get married some day... and I have been making a conscious effort to get out and expand my network of friends. I was out with someone yesterday and she brought up wanting to get married and hoped things could work out between us. It triggered the biggest fight or flight response in my mind. I guess I should say I went into it as lunch with a new friend... not as a date, I guess she thought it was more but nonetheless... is it that it was brought up on the first time in a face to face meeting? Is it just the typical guy response? Why did the mere mention of marriage strike such a fear in me... I want to get married someday... I don't get it, maybe I just don't want to be rushed into it. At the time I let it roll off and then she sent me a text later and brought it up again...

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Scared1011

If you were thinking 'lunch' and she was thinking 'marry someday' I'd freak out too. Your flight response was triggered when you were around someone who was on an entirely, and inappropriate, wave length then you that included you in the plan.

It wasn't a fear of marriage. It was a fear of crazy 'whaaaaat?'

RumBoy75 · 46-50, M

Even if it was a first date, and maybe I wasn't clear so I will give on that but... I'm not sure how much different the response would have been. I get thinking something, and men and women's brains work differently but don't most people have a filter of actually saying something about marriage until you at least know the person for longer than a couple hours? Maybe I am just crazy

Scared1011

Men and women are different but not THAT different. I've had men mention marriage on a first date. I've had men just randomly ask me to marry them (I'm sure they were joking but still). I figure the guys who talk about marriage early are probably just telling me what they think I want to hear. I think women do it as a 'test'. See what your response is. If you run screaming or say never getting married they mark you off the list. She's probably using her own sort of filter (stupid though it might be), mention marriage topics to all men she meets and their reaction filters them from her pool of interest. At least that's my guess

flyingfish7000

35 to 40 seems a little old to have a simple word like marriage send you screaming in trepidation into the night . By that age I would expect a little more maturity and confidence to handle a lunch comment. I can think of many comments to handle the situation without slamming anyone's feelings.

RumBoy75 · 46-50, M

Who said I slammed anyone's feelings or had any kind of negative reaction in front of her. I did not respond with any negativity whatsoever. I have filters... I can keep what is going on in my mind completely separate from what actually comes out of my mouth and separate from any kind of physical reaction.

flyingfish7000

Easy there cowboy. I didn't accuse you of anything. I only said I could tell her she was way off course without hurting her feelings. If you work together and want to have lunch together without having marriage as a continuous threat, she's going to have to be told that marriage is not on your mind for you two.