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I left for a while

It has been quite a few months. I found it hard to come in here without feeling sad. I busied myself with practical things- teaching, housework, spending time with Mom and the boy... and it actually helped.

After twenty two years of working ten-hour days and weekends filled with marking, I am so so so relieved and glad to be rid of that kind of life. It was not really a life. It was a miserable fraction of a life that I lived with work dictating everything.

Finally when I quit my job in 2019 and when I thought I could have more time to spend with family and friends, it had to happen that an online friend would take his own life.

Just as I thought I could leave to start a new life in Spain, the pandemic would wreak havoc and international borders would close.

But I will still give thanks today. The best is yet to be.

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Cierzo · M

The best is yet to be.
The hardest part is not knowing when that 'yet' will happen. It is better not to think of it. It only can bring disappointment if it is later than we think.
The only thing we can do now is to keep healthy and mentally strong until that moment comes. At least I know covid is quite under control there and you are safe. I wish you could feel the same. I hate making you worry.

novembermoon · 51-55

We have to keep well and just wait. Maybe two years, maybe five or even ten. I hope to see Spain again one day. And we’d be together.@Cierzo

Cierzo · M

@novembermoon I don't want to think of numbers. Some day it will happen. Our hair will be whiter, but it will be us.

Sssslm · F

The pandemic will be over one day. You will be in Spain ever after. It s in fact good to have a clear goal and clear plan ahead, and something and someone to look forward to.

Mugin16 · 46-50, M

After twenty two years of working ten-hour days and weekends filled with marking

That reminds me of a quote by the economic historian David Landes who wrote that Americans and Chinese are the only people who live to work while everybody else works to live. I am not sure if he meant this as a compliment for the American and Chinese work ethic or not.

novembermoon · 51-55

You are so right. I used to feel secretly pleased that we’re seen as diligent people, not given to indulging in too much leisure and pleasure. However, now that I’m older, I see it as a work ethic that is quite killing and inhumane.And it is true that people here are so absorbed by work that there is nothing else in their lives. It is a common joke here to point at someone and say > this guy has nothing in his life but $. This pragmatism is also a kind of idolatry, I feel. @Mugin16

Sssslm · F

@novembermoon there is a similar joke in my city, "so poor that only $ left".

SW-User

We shall overcome.

Ghostinthemachine · M

Such raw, poignant honesty

I wish you the best in 2021 and onward from there

View 1 more replies »

Ghostinthemachine · M

@novembermoon it both broke my heart and left me optimistic with your hope for the future

novembermoon · 51-55

@Ghostinthemachine I still wonder what drove my friend to take his own life. He read a lot and thought deeply about things. It seemed he lived alone and the isolation led to the inevitable. Don't know. But it hurts to think none of us online could have helped him.

Ghostinthemachine · M

@novembermoon suicide always leaves those left behind with more questions than answers, and feelings of helplessness and regret. A most unpleasant situation for all involved

in10RjFox · MVIP

Thank the pandemic for a stress free life .. leave all of your problems to the government and relax ..

JustNik · 51-55, F

🤗🤗🤗 I’m glad the time away helped. It’s a lot to deal with. I’m sorry you lost your friend. 😔

Mugin16 · 46-50, M

Sorry to hear that a friend of yours killed himself. My condolences.

novembermoon · 51-55

It is hard to take, really. @Mugin16

bijouxbroussard · F

It’s good to see you. I wish you the very best for this year.

novembermoon · 51-55

@bijouxbroussard THank you, my fren! Keep well and stay safe. ❤️

bijouxbroussard · F

@novembermoon 🤗

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