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I left for a while

It has been quite a few months. I found it hard to come in here without feeling sad. I busied myself with practical things- teaching, housework, spending time with Mom and the boy... and it actually helped.

After twenty two years of working ten-hour days and weekends filled with marking, I am so so so relieved and glad to be rid of that kind of life. It was not really a life. It was a miserable fraction of a life that I lived with work dictating everything.

Finally when I quit my job in 2019 and when I thought I could have more time to spend with family and friends, it had to happen that an online friend would take his own life.

Just as I thought I could leave to start a new life in Spain, the pandemic would wreak havoc and international borders would close.

But I will still give thanks today. The best is yet to be.

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Ghostinthemachine · M

Such raw, poignant honesty

I wish you the best in 2021 and onward from there

novembermoon · 51-55

@Ghostinthemachine Thank you for reading my post.

Ghostinthemachine · M

@novembermoon it both broke my heart and left me optimistic with your hope for the future

novembermoon · 51-55

@Ghostinthemachine I still wonder what drove my friend to take his own life. He read a lot and thought deeply about things. It seemed he lived alone and the isolation led to the inevitable. Don't know. But it hurts to think none of us online could have helped him.

Ghostinthemachine · M

@novembermoon suicide always leaves those left behind with more questions than answers, and feelings of helplessness and regret. A most unpleasant situation for all involved