I Have Thought About Suicde

I'm 20 right now. And.. im reaching the end of my story. i know its pathetic and its funny but umm.. my entire life i was told that i could be anything i want. it's no one's fault except mines in believing that i could change the world or be something significant. Every year I live, I don't know if it's God or fate or that I am truly unlucky; something that makes me happy , something that makes me live, something that gives me a purpose is taken away from me... When i was a kid all I wanted was to be an adult but now that I'm an adult all i want is someone or something to end my life. I understand I'm not strong, just.. i feel life would be better. I try so hard to be successful and all I get is a bunch of unfortunate events that make me fail. If anything happens all i wanna say is.. I forgive everybody and i leave this world at peace. no grudges or anything. just acceptance and happiness. I hope some other person lost and stuck in the past is stronger than me. perhaps God gives me another chance...