I Will Take As Many Words As I Want To Write This Story
[b]Missing[/b]
[i]One of the hardest things for me as a person is not being wanted, or needed , anymore. It is heartbreaking, There is a shallow, hollow, forlorn and void feeling that, unless you have lived long enough to live through it, you cannot relate to. A feeling of lonesome it is not. Or one of worthlessness. But it's there, tugging at us and reminding us, daily that the children we once had; one's that used to run into our arms with full abandon screaming out name as they did, are over. It is not the loss of a child per se, but in a way, it is!
They are grown.
They are now on their own, adults, as parents our jobs is done. It is hoped that we can take solace in the fact that we did a great job raising them. And perhaps that should be enough. It isn't. Not by a long shot.
The answers they now seek they can seek elsewhere and with another- or as a group. Our input may be asked for but it is not a given any advice will be taken. No longer are we their world. We are no longer the ones they come to with every issue imaginable. Time may pass and we may reconnect not as a child and parent but as adults- in essence, equals. Or perhaps not. There are no guarantees.
Of all the things I miss I believe I miss that the most. The feeling of being needed and wanted:Nay! -VITAL to another life and well being. The love of a child is a special love indeed.
Those of you with children need to always be mindful at how fast time goes and how fleeting life itself is. How precious are the moments we spend with our children while they still do look to us for guidance and protection. Those days, inevitably, will end.
They will move on and be the person they seek to be. To be certain they will need answers and council, but they can choose who and how to get it from. Is this sounding a bit selfish? Perhaps. But the beauty of childhood DOES have it's limits.
In closing that is not to say our children will not still be active in ours lives. They may be very much so. Or not at all. One can never predict that. But the innocence of youth will be lost, the wonderment of discovery and exploration as well. The ability as parents to surprise , amaze and astonish will be no more. It is something those children will never understand as they leave to make their way in the world.
Thank you for this. It helps me understand my mother better, and think about what it would be like if I ever have children. I'll take this into account for sure.
I know it's different, but something you wrote resonated. Saying it's not the loss of a child, but it is. There's a mourning of that time in life.
I've been in chronic daily pain since I was 13. It feels like grief when I look over the wasted years. It also motivates me to do better today. But there is a mourning, for the loss of years. Of the rest of my childhood. I can't imagine it's any easier missing you own kids' childhoods, being actively needed by those precious souls. I wonder if there's a support group for that. There are plenty for chronic pain, and one in particular helped me through my teen pain experience.
Anyway. As difficult as it must be, it's also a part of the cycle. The beautiful thing being your impact will be felt through the generations.
I'm so sorry you feel this way 😢 I really want to try to say something to make you feel better but I feel like whatever I might say you'd have thought it already. I just have hugs and kisses for you 🤗🤗🤗😘 You are a wonderful person
WOW !! Elandra !! You just made a grown man cry. Without a doubt, words from the heart of a mother, and no truer words have ever been spoken. Oh, how I can honestly say I feel your concern at least from a dads view. My son will be 31 this year and my baby girl will be 27. Last year when I walked her down the isle to be married I wept like a baby just about the whole time. I believe all of us that has been down that road and that have been good decent parents can relate to you. I think we can only hope and trust that the things we taught them took root and I believe that it did. Thank you so much for sharing that. Take care, Waymor
@Waymor Thanks for reading. And replying. I'm glad it touched you. Life can be hard, sad even, and it hurts parents worse in the transformation of their baby to an adult. It is a void that cannot be filled.
I love your post, it's all so TRUE!!! I was so happy to drive 3 1/2 hours to see my daughter after 11 long years. 💓So much changes as the years fly by, but the love I have for her will never die❣🤗💫I hope many more will stop by and read this. ⭐ Your fist paragraph really tugged on my heart strings.😞You are a nice person and we need you here Elandra...don't forget that.
@Peaches Thanks. Glad you could relate to it. Those that are younger who have not had children- or whose children have not left to fond their way in the world may bot identify as well, if at all.
Moi? nice? LOL--Ok- I try to be but you are that as well.
A few told me the first paragraph has them emotionally as well.
This brings tears to my eyes.Tomorrow after work,I will go see my parents.i will hug my mother the minute I walk through their door. I'll hold her for awhile longer.I will tell her i love her so much!I will then go kiss my father on his forehead and tell him I love him! Gosh you've opened my eyes here. I Thankyou so much for posting this.This is so touching!
@Eddiesolds How did things go for you ? I hope well.
I'm flattered that my piece on missing one of the key purposes of life touched you as it did. Too often children leave and never realize the emotional void they left in another's heart. Not that they can help it. Life goes on and they must go on with it. Wherever it leads them. It also a lesson they oft learn far too late in life-
In your case though, I woudl say it is not too late.
@Elandra77 Hello! I accually went over there for lunch today. It was beautiful! My mother was so happy.My father was a little Lost when I went to him to kiss him.lol! My father is 93 years old.He is a hard ass.He isn't a happy person. I loved smelling him though! Sounds strange eh? Year's and years ago he had a hat he wore every time he was working around the house. I saw it one day and asked if I could have it. I used to always smell that hat. I love them both so much! Thankyou so much for asking! It was wonderful!☺ You have a wonderful day! 🤗
Thank you for sharing this. It is true that we continue always to pray for our children. I have found that grandchildren can fill some of those empty places. They aren't as busy as our children either. 😊
