I Always Get Asked Why Im So Quiet

Literally me when I was in middle school. I went through major anxiety and I was just never speak to anyone. People would always ask why are you so quiet and honestly had no answer which made me question myself. Some would think something was wrong with me or something happened at home but everything was fine. I hated that I wasn’t outgoing like others or able to speak my mind. That’s just how I was. Had no one to sit with at lunch, no partner for a class project, no one to go to during embarrassing moments during school. Anyways I totally understand you, you are not alone

Me too. Things started changing for me when I got a job in retail at around your age. At first, I spoke only to needs of customers (directions, information, etc.) So, I was speaking to strangers often, but with a comfortably small sense of social risk.

Over time, I met customers that would engage me in social discourse. Some customers were one-sided blabber mouths, some ignored my shyness and almost all such occasions were awkward. I learned to ignore the awkwardness and squeak out a joke, a laugh, or the simplest of comments: a one worded adjective. For example, "that's wonderful."

This awkwardness diminished over time, then I learned to speak just for the sake of speaking. Socializing is like dancing, moving on account of being able to move.

I regarded my shyness as an addiction, a comfort. My solution was to surrender to the outcome (awkwardness, embarrassment, etc.) and to do things that made me uncomfortable.

You said, "My instinct is not to say something unless I have something relevant to contribute." I know that instinct. I felt it when standing in a circle of friends or sitting at the dinner table with family. That may not be the instinct that you need to develop.

My tendency to contribute and uplift a group's conversations grew [i]with[/i]my tendency to disagree. I may be a more disagreeable person than you, but I offer my old mantra: other people can be wrong too.

If there's any takeaway here it's that you have to work on your shyness. Put your back into it. Grab your balls and bust outta that fuckin' shell man.

[b][c=#003BB2]@LaneOfTheWired[/c][/b]

Nothing wrong with being quiet and shy. I'm that way myself. What I've learned, the hard way, is that people tend to get upset if you are not providing a modicum of non-verbal social cues that lets them know you are listening, i.e., smiling, head nodding, and occasionally looking at their face.

Folks who feel ignored or devalued can get pretty defensive.
Using a few artful well-timed gestures neutralizes all that hassle.

Quietness is quite attractive.

Here's the shorted and easiest way I have found to let anyone that asks why I'm quiet so I can get back to being quiet.

I just tell them I'm introverted and go right back to being quiet lol. If they ask what that is I just tell them to Google it lol.

I know very well what you mean.

I do feel the same