I'm Hurting
Yesterday, for the first time, my brother spoke to the guy I've been having an online relationship with. My brother asked me to leave the room, after which he asked him about our potential future. He said that it seemed unlikely as we live very far away but we'll always be friends.
I agree with what he said, we are very good friends and personally, I think it's important to see and meet the person you want a future with just to be able to make it work. Everything he said makes sense, and I agree with it. He didn't say there was no chance, just little chance. But my heart still hurts? And I still feel sad?
In a way, I can't expect this to just happen without me feeling anything at all. I am an extremely sensitive person. But at the same time, I knew it. Why did it hurt so much? I've been through heartbreak in the past and it isn't his fault I'm feeling like this, it's mine. But to be fair, I am taking it better than I have in the past. I could even say it gets more manageable with time, but yesterday, it was killing me inside.
It's weird because after he said that to him, he even told me what he said (because I asked) and then he proceeded in talking like normal, with giggles and hearts and everything. We both aren't really big fans of commitment. And on top of that we live so far away, nothing was going to be for certain anyway. Even then, it hurts so much. I couldn't help but wonder, is it that I'm just not good enough? That sounds a bit weird but that was all I could think about. It's taken me some time to trust and open up to someone again. I was just glad that someone actually liked me, for me and didn't wanna hurt me. That probably sounds really lame, but it's true.
I've always been really big on 'hope'. I never give up hope. Ever. But is it time to put the hope away in a situation that clearly needs to be seen from a more realistic viewpoint?
Thank you in advance for any advice :)
I agree with what he said, we are very good friends and personally, I think it's important to see and meet the person you want a future with just to be able to make it work. Everything he said makes sense, and I agree with it. He didn't say there was no chance, just little chance. But my heart still hurts? And I still feel sad?
In a way, I can't expect this to just happen without me feeling anything at all. I am an extremely sensitive person. But at the same time, I knew it. Why did it hurt so much? I've been through heartbreak in the past and it isn't his fault I'm feeling like this, it's mine. But to be fair, I am taking it better than I have in the past. I could even say it gets more manageable with time, but yesterday, it was killing me inside.
It's weird because after he said that to him, he even told me what he said (because I asked) and then he proceeded in talking like normal, with giggles and hearts and everything. We both aren't really big fans of commitment. And on top of that we live so far away, nothing was going to be for certain anyway. Even then, it hurts so much. I couldn't help but wonder, is it that I'm just not good enough? That sounds a bit weird but that was all I could think about. It's taken me some time to trust and open up to someone again. I was just glad that someone actually liked me, for me and didn't wanna hurt me. That probably sounds really lame, but it's true.
I've always been really big on 'hope'. I never give up hope. Ever. But is it time to put the hope away in a situation that clearly needs to be seen from a more realistic viewpoint?
Thank you in advance for any advice :)
