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I Want To Give Thanks


I am giving thanks for these slow days where my mind can finally rest.

For 22 years, I have worked. Getting up at 5 am and getting ready for a hectic day. Weekends filled with marking and months filled with exam preparations and logistics planning. 10-hour and 12-hour days were the norm. The responsibility of preparing batch after batch of students for the national exams and celebrating with them when they did well and crying with them when there were disappointments. Despite the exhaustion, every year-end, I tell myself it's worth it. I can go another year.

But not any more. I have worked until I almost burnt out. How does one know where the limit is? I think one just knows it implicitly. For me, the train has arrived at my platform and I need to get off. I see my colleagues on that train and I worry for them sometimes. The speed at which it hurtles is not for the faint-hearted.

My country has come in tops again, not for PISA this time 馃槤

http://theindependent.sg/singapore-ranks-as-second-most-overworked-city-in-the-world-study/

These days, I am more mindful of my life, of every breath I take, of every morsel of food I chew. There is no hurriedness. Only silent contemplation. I could go on like this for a long time.
CierzoM
Your mind and body were shouting loud to stop. You have been wise to listen and follow their advice. You really needed and deserved it.

I hope you don't mind someone is getting you away from your slow days very soon 馃槈
novembermoon51-55
@Cierzo just like old times now, when during that brief period in 2014 that same someone said "I'm not letting you do your sewing much" . Some things don't change. And I pray they never will. 鈽猴笍
CierzoM
@novembermoon I too hope and prey they never change 馃槉
This message was deleted by its author.
Wraithorn51-55, M
You were a teacher ? That's not an easy job. Congratulations for contributing so much for all those yrs. According to what I've read in the past Chinese people are really intelligent and do work really hard. You contributed towards that intelligence by teaching. Well done, enjoy your slow days.
I understand what you mean about getting off the train. After 21 yrs as a policeman I had enough and got off the train yrs ago. I am not at all keen to step back into society again and live mostly like a hermit now.
I'm like a wraith, seldom seen and only when it is important.
馃檪
novembermoon51-55
@Wraithorn thanks for giving us the meaning behind your username. It is very apt indeed! You must have seen a lot of things in your years in the police force. Was it in South Africa? Write and tell us more. It must be so interesting! I agree with you that the Chinese people are generally hardworking. But more often than not, the image I have is not a pretty one - more like beasts of burden who do not care about looking up once in a while to see where we're going... and the one trait that I utterly hate - too much blind deference and obedience to people in power and authority. I may be overly critical and make too broad a generalisation but I think I'm not far from the truth.
Wraithorn51-55, M
@novembermoon Would you like to explain what your username means ? I was wondering about that it.

Yes, I was a cop in S.Africa. I've lived here my whole life. I did post a story about it yrs ago on EP but I didn't repost it here. If you really want to read it I could send it to you in a PM because I saved it in my email drafts.

I'm quite happy to be able to chat with a Chinese person here because the Chinese in S.Africa are not very communicative. Oh and I must just say that your command of English is really good. I'm impressed.

Chinese people here live in closed communities that are not really accessible to outsiders. They seem to be here just to work and nothing else. It is not really possible to get to know Chinese people here in a social or friendly way.
JustNik51-55, F
鉂わ笍馃 I鈥檓 always happy to see you having time for yourself. 馃檪
4meAndyouF
My cousin was a school teacher also. She told me that she had no idea what a terrible toll it was taking on her, until she retired, and then she wondered what madness had possessed her, to work for sooo long. Unfortunately, she only had one year of retirement, then she slipped while both unloading her dishwasher and cleaning her oven, broke her leg, and died the day after I spoke to her last, of a pulmonary embolism.
novembermoon51-55
@4meAndyou that is so so sad. She worked for so long and had such a short time to enjoy her retirement. Sometimes I ask God why life can be so unfair. I had a colleague who had cancer and she worked until the very last day. No doubt she loved her job but the fact was that she needed rest. Yet at the end of 2017, beginning of 2018, when I last saw her alive, she was still walking to the classroom to make sure everything was in order the day before the children came back from their holidays. She was breathing heavily and the medicine smell on her was strong as we took the lift together. I did not know that would be the last I would see of her. She was only 34.
4meAndyouF
@novembermoon I think you should say to yourself, Hmm...maybe I should retire a little bit early. Hmm?
SssslmF
The feeling to appreciate more the things immediately around and being carefree is priceless.

 
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