I Have Random Thoughts

An interesting concept to me is how people who adore kids, love them, want the best for them, would rather spawn their own than adopt.

Would rather give a good home to a kid that doesn't yet exist, rather than a living kid who has nothing.

I get that biologically we just want to make the babies. Debatebly, that's our purpose in life. It's a survival thing. I don't even want kids and I still get baby fever every now and again. But we're so overpopulated it hurts.

I just don't get why we want to add to the population when we already neglect so much of it.

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

This is one of my core inner philosophies, and something I have thought about a lot. I gravitate towards anti-natalism, and I usually can't see myself having kids either, to the point where I feel a vasectomy is in my future in order to virtually eliminate any risk of that.

At times, I feel that life is such an affliction, that I would not be able to justify the risk that any potential son or daughter of mine could go through even half of the pain I've been through (and I don't even have it that bad, all things considered).

I've gone through multiple existential crises. I cannot bear the thought of looking into my son or daughter's eyes, seeing them suffering, and then having them question their purpose and why I even had them - like I did with my parents.

I believe that adoption should be subsidized and encouraged, both as a way to combat overpopulation and for the sake of the unwanted kids.

IntenseCookie · 26-30, F

@GeistInTheMachine 🙌🙌 This exactly. Most people are miserable. The last thing I want is for my inner Neanderthal to take over just to create something that will spend the followimg seventy years sad, whishinng it hadn't been born in the first place

GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

@IntenseCookie I've always found people who call those who don't have kids "selfish" to be very ironic and short sighted.

What's selfish about not wanting to create a [u]person[/u] who will suffer in the same that you have, or maybe worse, even?

And the thought of any son or daughter of mine suffering like I have (or worse) and dying... No way.

SW-User

Your parents or schools covered the whole “birds and bees” thing... right?

View 4 more replies »

IntenseCookie · 26-30, F

@SW-User That's the thing. It's not someone else's kid. For whatever reason, whoever spawned the orphan is no longer in their lives. They absusive, unfit, dead. Whatever the case is, that kid shares nothing with their biological parents other than DNA.

You adopt the kid. You raise the kid. It's your child. That child will love you as their parents. Your not raising some one else's kid- that person is not their guardian. You are.

I'm not saying you should be forced to adopt as opposed to have your own baby. I just fail to understand the thought process of someone who says they love kids and wants the best for them, but won't open their homes up for the children who need them

SW-User

@IntenseCookie Raising a child correctly takes a lot of effort. The partnership between the adults needs to be strong. The will to take care of these kids has to be as well.

We only have one child. I felt horrible for having an only child but our relationship just never seemed to peak to where we thought having a second was viable.

Later on, I felt guilty and considered fostering. Still, our co-parenting just doesn't seem strong enough for that stress.

Some people can't/shouldn't/won't raise kids (even if it is their DNA).

IntenseCookie · 26-30, F

@SW-User Big families aren't for everyone. That's fine. I just feel like we should be more considerate towards those who currently need a home, not just shove them under the carpet and pretend they're not there

Add a comment...