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I Want to Be Independent

I want to be independent of parents, religion, friends, housemates, the instinct to please everyone, the longing for a partner...still striving towards that stage. It's a lonely road but damn, I will get there!

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Frank52 · 70-79, M

I'm afraid the fact is that we are social animals (and more). Total self-reliance is a very lonely experience and impossible to maintain. You end up using others in purely transactional arrangements and starve yourself of love and nurture which is part of being human. I hope you find meaningful relationships which are mutually beneficial.

ShieldUp · 26-30, M

@Frank52 Thanks.. I think this is because I am so used to giving others so much of my energy and investment that I am for once, drained of all inner resources. That's why I wrote up there that I want to be independent of pleasing everyone. I'm weary of being a doormat and feeling like that's my nature and identity forever. This intentional distance from people will give me back some of that agency over my own space.

Frank52 · 70-79, M

@ShieldUp Boundaries are good. Space to recover your own identity, composure and strength is essential. It's all a matter of balance and people pleasing is a serious imbalance in life. Well done for recognising the danger.

ShieldUp · 26-30, M

@Frank52 That's right, I'm finally recognizing this. Thank you, sir.

DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F

It's a glorious feeling, and once you've tasted it you will never want to look back.

ShieldUp · 26-30, M

@DearAmbellina2113 One foot in front of the other...

Carissimi · 70-79, F

Even the guy who lived in the woods for years, and shunned humanity depended on others for survival. They found he’d been stealing food from – I think – a church pantry. We are all interdependent on others to one degree or another, whether we accept it or not.

ShieldUp · 26-30, M

@Carissimi Agreed. I still love and want my friends and family around...it's just that I don't want to be utterly reliant on them for emotional completion and financial survival, know what I mean?

Carissimi · 70-79, F

Yes. With your clarification, I have a better understanding of your meaning. Go for it. @ShieldUp

ShieldUp · 26-30, M

@Carissimi Thank you.

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