I want to be independent of parents, religion, friends, housemates, the instinct to please everyone, the longing for a partner...still striving towards that stage. It's a lonely road but damn, I will get there!
I'm afraid the fact is that we are social animals (and more). Total self-reliance is a very lonely experience and impossible to maintain. You end up using others in purely transactional arrangements and starve yourself of love and nurture which is part of being human. I hope you find meaningful relationships which are mutually beneficial.
@Frank52 Thanks.. I think this is because I am so used to giving others so much of my energy and investment that I am for once, drained of all inner resources. That's why I wrote up there that I want to be independent of pleasing everyone. I'm weary of being a doormat and feeling like that's my nature and identity forever. This intentional distance from people will give me back some of that agency over my own space.
@ShieldUp Boundaries are good. Space to recover your own identity, composure and strength is essential. It's all a matter of balance and people pleasing is a serious imbalance in life. Well done for recognising the danger.
Even the guy who lived in the woods for years, and shunned humanity depended on others for survival. They found he’d been stealing food from – I think – a church pantry. We are all interdependent on others to one degree or another, whether we accept it or not.
@Carissimi Agreed. I still love and want my friends and family around...it's just that I don't want to be utterly reliant on them for emotional completion and financial survival, know what I mean?