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I Want to Be Independent

I want to be independent of parents, religion, friends, housemates, the instinct to please everyone, the longing for a partner...still striving towards that stage. It's a lonely road but damn, I will get there!

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Frank52 · 70-79, M

I'm afraid the fact is that we are social animals (and more). Total self-reliance is a very lonely experience and impossible to maintain. You end up using others in purely transactional arrangements and starve yourself of love and nurture which is part of being human. I hope you find meaningful relationships which are mutually beneficial.

ShieldUp · 26-30, M

@Frank52 Thanks.. I think this is because I am so used to giving others so much of my energy and investment that I am for once, drained of all inner resources. That's why I wrote up there that I want to be independent of pleasing everyone. I'm weary of being a doormat and feeling like that's my nature and identity forever. This intentional distance from people will give me back some of that agency over my own space.

Frank52 · 70-79, M

@ShieldUp Boundaries are good. Space to recover your own identity, composure and strength is essential. It's all a matter of balance and people pleasing is a serious imbalance in life. Well done for recognising the danger.

ShieldUp · 26-30, M

@Frank52 That's right, I'm finally recognizing this. Thank you, sir.