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My heart is hurting but I don't feel anything.

I found a selfie of me and my ex this morning, I thought I threw them all away. It was back in 2015, coming towards Christmas and we had been going out for 7 months to that point so I told her I loved her and she punched me, I was in complete shock I'm not gonna lie. And all I could do was grovel that I was sorry. I know now that I probably had nothing to be sorry about.

I bumped into her mother a couple of weeks later and she told that she chucked her out because she just used me for my money like her previous boyfriends.

But I still felt it was my fault in someway. I thought I could never love again especially when she sicced her new boytoy on me in 2016. But I met this support group through Facebook and after building a lovable slate of friendships for 4 years, it all came to an end during lockdown I thought I could open up to them that I have low level Aspergers and they said they didn't want a broken person in their lives and they started spreading rumours about me, and discussing my problem in a private messenger chat so I had to leave and run away from all social media and I've been alone ever since.

Sorry to be such a downer, I know I should let it go but after seeing that selfie during this lockdown stuff, it's just come flooding back... And it's just I got no one else I can talk too about it.

Especially since I can't get a doctor's appointment and I don't really have the money to pay for therapy. But to be honest I felt okay until this morning when I found that selfie.
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LeaDhelani18-21, F
Hang in there 馃
RavenclawGamer26-30, M
[@1178602,LeaDhelani] Thank you so much for this. 鈽猴笍
blackcar26-30, M
You'll be good man. People are pieces of shit.
RavenclawGamer26-30, M
[@567763,blackcar] thank you so much. I appreciate that a lot, dude.
I am sorry for you!! I can feel that there is a loving light around you. Please do not give up!! I am available for a chat if you wish

 
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