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I Have a Fear

I teach my girls all the time on being confident and never letting others opinions of you pull you under the waves until you find yourself drowning. I thought I was a very confident woman, I used to be okay with my body image and the way I looked. That was until I joined SW a while back and decided to use my picture as my profile image, only to be told by a total stranger oneday that I was ugly. Of course I didn't respond but when I went offline his words started to work on me. Then I knew that I was not only lacking in self confidence but I was not strong enough to fight off negative opinions. You may say why does it matter what a stranger blurted out to you? Do you know that even a stranger can bring out fears in you that you never knew existed? I know, because I've gone through it. I still hear those words echoing in my head somedays when I look in the mirror to brush my hair.
Ynotjenn · F
Sad part is that the person was probably just being a dick. They probably didn't even really think that way. People are just jerks. I see it all the time here. People just want to bring each other down.

I understand messing with the trolls. Trying to bust them out. Even I'm guilty of that. But to just try to bring a girl down in the worst possible way because you think it's cute...is just shitty.

Try to keep that in mind. It probably had nothing to do with you.
Ynotjenn · F
@WiseGirl: People's words leave dings in our armour. It's unfortunate but true. You just have to figure out how to mend the dings :)
WildHeart · 41-45, F
@Ynotjenn: haha! I like the way you put that. All this can be mended you are right :)
Ynotjenn · F
@WiseGirl: 👍
JarJarBoom · 41-45, F
I had the same thing happen, online and real life...I thought I had a thick skin but I guess I was hella wrong. Fine, my look isn't for "everybody" but why do people feel spreading that information is gonna make anybody feel any better?
JarJarBoom · 41-45, F
@WiseGirl: I still battle with self-hatred though...its a long-winded "story of the past" but I came to the conclusion that "I'm not going to win them all" and finally got comfortable to actually show my face. Some people are just bullies and want to bring you down, but all that matters is the your own opinion.
WildHeart · 41-45, F
@JarJarBoom: do you have kids? When I was growing up, there was never a time when my parents every complimented me or just told me, that I'm their beautiful little girl. I think it's important that kids are told how beautiful they are. When my girls dress up they come hunting me down to strike a pose. I also make it my duty to explain how being overly egostical can be unhealthy.
JarJarBoom · 41-45, F
@WiseGirl: yea..I have kids...I rarely got complimented as a kid over my looks. I don't know if it affected me negatively because I was complimented on other things that I held more value such as my intelligence and humor. But I think its important to feel beautiful for any girl/woman. I just dont want my kids to overly emphasize on beauty or believe they have to look a certain way in order to determine their self-worth.
Shironeko · 18-21, F
You are beautiful just the way you are sweetheart god made everyone beautiful did the stranger know anything about you ? Like your amazing personality ? NO! Those are people who are jealous don't know what to do with their lives so they just bring other people down with them in the dark to make theirselves feel better you okay with that? With losing against a pathetic person? they judge people and make fun of them but they never look at theirselves and see how pathetic they are no one can judge u no one is perfect that stranger is just stupid person don't let people words break you into pieces! I love you and I wish you the best here is a stranger telling you how amazing and beautiful you are I like that you are confident and that you teach your girls on being confident look at the positive side of things don't just look at the negative side of everything and btw there is HOT people out there but their personalities don't even cost a dollar garbage it's all about the inside much love from me have a happy positive day from: a stranger 💛
WildHeart · 41-45, F
Thank you so very much for sending me so much of encouragement. You have just taught an old woman like me a few things that up should have known given my age. Your parents should be proud of you. Keep being you. ❤️
Shironeko · 18-21, F
@WiseGirl: my pleasure 💛 and I hope they are.. of course I will always be me ! thanks!
LachrymoseLamer · 51-55, M
Idiots like that are just trying to get at you for their own lame entertainment.
Don't let them.
Don't give them control over your emotions and feelings.
It doesn't matter what anyone says, you are the one who determines your own worth. And nobody else. :)
WildHeart · 41-45, F
I am slowly realizing this truth. Thank you for replying
LachrymoseLamer · 51-55, M
@WiseGirl: You're very welcome. :)
thinkincubes · 41-45
I don't think confidence is something that can be taught. It's a consequence of other things. If it only takes one douchebag's opinion to destabilize your system, the system was flawed to begin with. Objective analysis of the data is all that will lead to an accurate conclusion.
76starships · 46-50, M
What an awful thing to say to someone. I'm sorry to see that a cruel comment on SW crossed over into real life.
WildHeart · 41-45, F
Some people have no idea how their words can bring forth damage.
Pherick · 41-45, M
I am sorry someone was that rude to you. No one deserves that kind of cruelty.
WildHeart · 41-45, F
I think what's more important in this situation is that I should be able to be confident in the way I look and how I was created. In my eyes no one is ugly, there are many that have ugly personalities or ugly crimes that they commit but that's not how we are born. Ugliness is created by experiences or by mental illness that pushes one to ugly actions. All in all if a person feels beautiful inside then no one can take away their confidence. I know I'm a beautiful individual, I know I have a heart of gold but it's not a good feeling looking in the mirror asking yourself, "why am I not attractive?"
SW-User
Sigh... someone is always willing to trash beauty for a cheap laugh. We all pay for it.
firefall · 61-69, M
which I expect was his intention 🙁
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