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I Have a Fear

I teach my girls all the time on being confident and never letting others opinions of you pull you under the waves until you find yourself drowning. I thought I was a very confident woman, I used to be okay with my body image and the way I looked. That was until I joined SW a while back and decided to use my picture as my profile image, only to be told by a total stranger oneday that I was ugly. Of course I didn't respond but when I went offline his words started to work on me. Then I knew that I was not only lacking in self confidence but I was not strong enough to fight off negative opinions. You may say why does it matter what a stranger blurted out to you? Do you know that even a stranger can bring out fears in you that you never knew existed? I know, because I've gone through it. I still hear those words echoing in my head somedays when I look in the mirror to brush my hair.

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JarJarBoom · 41-45, F

I had the same thing happen, online and real life...I thought I had a thick skin but I guess I was hella wrong. Fine, my look isn't for "everybody" but why do people feel spreading that information is gonna make anybody feel any better?

WildHeart · 41-45, F

Well let me tell you something, you are very beautiful. Given your looks I don't know what the hell those people were thinking. It seems like you are in a better place. I want to work on myself so I can be where you are. I want to feel like I used to before.

JarJarBoom · 41-45, F

@WiseGirl: I still battle with self-hatred though...its a long-winded "story of the past" but I came to the conclusion that "I'm not going to win them all" and finally got comfortable to actually show my face. Some people are just bullies and want to bring you down, but all that matters is the your own opinion.

WildHeart · 41-45, F

@JarJarBoom: do you have kids? When I was growing up, there was never a time when my parents every complimented me or just told me, that I'm their beautiful little girl. I think it's important that kids are told how beautiful they are. When my girls dress up they come hunting me down to strike a pose. I also make it my duty to explain how being overly egostical can be unhealthy.

JarJarBoom · 41-45, F

@WiseGirl: yea..I have kids...I rarely got complimented as a kid over my looks. I don't know if it affected me negatively because I was complimented on other things that I held more value such as my intelligence and humor. But I think its important to feel beautiful for any girl/woman. I just dont want my kids to overly emphasize on beauty or believe they have to look a certain way in order to determine their self-worth.