I Feel Trapped

Feel strangely trapped by someone
Who is wonderful
I have blocked them on here
Do not want to feel this way
Want to get rid of this person
...this feeling
I have to fight the urge to behave irrationally.
Impulses along the lines of breaking my phone which I like by the way.
So that I do not have a choice anymore
I have contemplated suicide as an option to get away from this.
I feel suffocated
Embarrassed
Humiliated
That someone out there thinks they have the advantage over me.
I would rather die then let them be in control of me.

Anyone else feel this way?
I would like to be in control of these irrational feelings.
I don't like this.
I like to be in control.