I Just Need to Cry Sometimes

Deep breaths. Focus on the rise and fall of your abdomen.

The wind is blowing my way, carries a bracken and brine smell from the waters of the reservoir.

There is a steady oscillation of grasshoppers leg song, wet squelches of frog belly and throat. A night bird occasionally warbles from the foliage.

Wind is cold, leaving a pleasant sting on my cheeks. Warm breaths from my nostrils caress my fingers as I type. Eddies of cold air swirl about my exposed calves in the lulls.

The world is a curious place as the dominant species largely dreams in unison. It's din hushed. It's frenetic motion sedate. Cars all in the driveways, windows mostly dark, except for some television glow. There is no sound on the avenues but for the tromp of my footfalls.

Muted stars twinkle. White, yellow, orange and red. I pray for endurance, determination and strength. I talk to David, departed nine months ago, today. Eyes well, throat closes. I love you, old friend. I pray not to see you again for a while yet. I pray for the years to carry me to a new life. I pray for endurance, determination and strength.

Wind gusts, water sloshes against the shoreline. Night creatures conduct their symphony orchestra. Stars become more visible, as my eyes adjust.

The treeline is dark against the horizon. They stand tall, shoulder to shoulder and still. Moisture glistens on the pavement stones. The evening train begins to moan in the distance.

A shooting star blazes an arc across the northern sky. Something disturbs the tranquil waters, before falling quiet. The waking world falls silent, the evening song continues.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Listen to the silence. It is sacrosanct.

I know how it feels when anxiety and worry gets a grip. I can cry easily....and do....but I'm rarely alone to let my tears flow to the extent needed.
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